Shaved, Plucked, Toned, And Ready

Whew! I’m still so full of emotion, but excitement for this show is right under the surface. I’ve been reflecting a lot last night and this morning about all of this. Like I’ve said so many times before, it is so much more than sweating in the gym and stepping on stage. I’ve learned so much, but the thing I will value the most is the confidence I have gained in my strength as a person. I will never ever be able to tell you all how much the connection with others and the deep relationships I have gained along this process mean to me. I opened myself up. I was vulnerable. I shared my extreme excitement and I have shared my lows and you all have responded and I’m richer for that. We are richer for that! I’ve already won a million times over with the responses I have received from so many people about how my willingness to share my journey has inspired and motivated them to start their own journey. Maybe it isn’t a path to clear heels, a tiny bikini, and spray tans, but it is a journey they will travel to say they are living THEIR BEST LIVES. That’s all I could wish for. If I don’t place, if I never even get called out for a closer look, I’ve already won.


I’m stepping up there and representing you all. The ones that have had my back and cheered me on and let me know it and the ones that kept silent. I wanted my biggest audience to be those moms out there that are at their wits end with how they look and feel and crushing under the intense pressure of what comes with three little letters, M*O*M. I wanted you to know that if I can do it, you can too. You can make it work. You can find immense JOY in YOUR life. You can be YOU and still LOVE them. You can get behind on things, let the laundry, dust, and dishes pile up and it is OK! Your best YOU makes them the best THEM. Just keep trying, moms. Every day you are blessed with, just keep trying. Embrace the hard crap and praise the Lord for the opportunity to grow stronger with EACH and EVERY struggle. Then go freakin dance in the rain when that spontaneous thought hits your mind because that is living. That is living your life with intent and purpose, joy and love. It absolutely does not mean everything is perfect and everything is ok. We all know that isn’t life. We all have a choice of how to deal with what we were dealt.

Along the way I’ve realized it isn’t only moms. Everyone deserves that chance to love their life. Just this week while I was at Wyatt’s field day a little girl in his class came to me and gave me a hug. I don’t know this little girl other than seeing her in Wyatt’s class for parties and field trips. Later she says to me, “I saw you on facebook” I really didn’t know how to respond other than to say YOU did?! Her mom mentioned that she saw my gym pic. I can only hope my image sticks in that little girl’s mind and she grows up knowing that she can be strong and successful if she works hard at it. Maybe she has no clue now what is behind that picture, but maybe someday she will get it. Wyatt also had a play date with a friend who offered him a cupcake in which he responds that I don’t let him have stuff like that. Mind you, that is totally not true, I do let them have stuff like that on occasion, but you better believe they know exactly what is in it and exactly what it does to your body. But him telling his friends that and actually talking about my show coming up means that he is getting it. He is seeing me work hard and running towards goals and I hope my example gives him the fire to do the same things! Even some men have reached out to ask questions and get advice. It’s just awesome! That is all I can say! AWESOME!!!

Last night my mother-in-law shared her thoughts about it with me. It meant so much and was so humbling at the same time. Last year when my sister won her pro card at this show and trained for World’s I really couldn’t have cheered louder. It was such a big deal to me and I was on top of the world excited for her. What a BIG thing she was doing. Now that I’m in the trenches of my own journey it doesn’t seem like SUCH a big deal. I mean, it is something I never thought I would do, but I still get all embarrassed about it when people bring it up and try to play it off like it really isn’t all that big of a deal now that I’m in those shoes. BUT, I have finally gotten to the point where I can say it kind of is a big deal. This was a huge goal to chase after and I did it! (I don’t know of any other way to describe that and I probably didn’t communicate what I wanted to. HUGE awesome deal for others/not so big for me because it is me and I’m just doing what I know to do with some help)

I should be proud of myself. I am proud of myself. This morning I opened one of my devotionals and it started with a little phrase my grandma taught me when I was little:

Here’s the church.
Here’s the steeple.
Open the doors.
See all the people.

I remember her hands as she did the motions. I will never forget her hands and her tiny frame. It was just that little nudge I needed (to send me into an ugly cry) to realize it is ok to be proud of what I have accomplished in a “don’t get so full of yourself” type of way. Her and my grandpa were always so proud of us as kids. I really can’t even imagine how they would be now.

My sister… she is the reason for this. If it wasn’t for her throwing that fastball high and tight (literally taking my boobs off) and challenging me with this goal I can be pretty sure I wouldn’t be at this place right now. She offered her time and has been there for me the whole time coaching me through. It wasn’t always easy and we went through some tough times that brought back some old wounds, but we grew. We learned. I hope we are both better because of it. I really can’t thank her enough. I hope to reward her with getting my ultimate diva on and continuing my pursuit in being the best me for the rest of my life with her love and encouragement by my side. I couldn't refer a better personal trainer who truly cares about her clients (sister aside).  Look for ZenFit coming soon.  She's a pro at transformation!!!

I didn’t do this alone. I had help. I had support. There were times I felt like I asked for help too much and maybe I did. That was probably the hardest part for me is the guilt and stress I put on myself around asking for help. As a mom of small kids we all have to do that sometimes and it is ok. There are people out there wanting you to ask. Actually, even if you don’t have kids and you are trying your very best, it’s ok to ask for help. I could go into a long rant about a lot of people out there that do nothing but take, take, take and never give back, but I won’t. This post isn’t about them. The ones that are jealous because they see me succeeding and they aren’t doing their best in their own lives and accuse me of being “phony” well, this post isn’t for them. The only things I choose not to share about some struggles in my life deal with other people and it isn’t fair to anyone if I sling my side of the stories around dragging someone through the mud. As much as I’ve wanted to sometimes, it isn’t fair and I’m not about that. I want to encourage and lift others up. I want to be true to MY story and the way I live MY life no matter what kind of drama you try to put in it.

Where was I? Oh, this Saturday… I’m ready. I have put in the hard work. I have followed my diet, sometimes not eating as much as I should have, but I was clean. I’m shaved, plucked, toned, and ready. My last workout was yesterday with some finishing touches to the bootay, so it is rest and relaxation until Saturday. Tonight I start my tan. Tomorrow is my day off to pack up, get my food ready for the day, tan again and mentally focus on why I am doing all of this. I’m gearing up to shine. To shine for me and to shine for you! Once I slip my athlete’s meeting dress on it is DIVA t until I wake up Sunday morning and run 12 miles, sweat, stink, probably cry, change at least 2 poopy diapers, check the underwear of the middle one, wipe snot from my son’s nose, pick the booger out of the other one’s, hear about 20 farts, break up fights, feed hungry mouths, clean up 10,000 messes, and pick up a birthday cake all before Wyatt’s birthday party. I’m sure I’ll say hi to my husband sometime in there.

If you are thinking of me, think “carriage, smooth flow, chest up, butt out, smile, lower tummy in, pose until it hurts”, please?!  I will be updating Facebook (my personal page and 5 Sharp Lives) as much as I can and I will also be posting to Instagram (tsharp12) but the reception in the building isn't the best, so I will do the best I can. 

You are probably sick of me saying it, but I don’t care…. THANK YOU SO STINKING MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THANK YOU FOR SO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!!  I wish I could run and jump into each of your arms right after the show. 

THANK YOU!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!

6 DAYS!

It’s here… peak week. I feel like I’ve fixed enough food for the entire month only to realize that it will maybe last me half the week. My goal for the week is to EAT and be present in the moments that are in front of me. To say the last few days have been a mental struggle is probably an understatement. I have doubted myself so much. I’m not really sure why I have beat myself up so bad. Maybe I’m just scared out of my little bikini bottoms. I got stressed just thinking about how stressful this week is going to be. I look at my calendar and just shake my head. But, why? The Lord has got my back. He’s sent the down pour of rain that will cancel my sons’ baseball games which means I have evenings free to make sure my food is ready, my bag is packed, and my time with my family is enjoyed to the fullest being all together and able to get things done at home that I need to get done. I don’t mean that to sound selfish. The baseball games will get rescheduled and I love every minute of them, but this show and this prep will not be rescheduled and I need the focus time.


I am getting better though. I think part of healing, working through stuff you are feeling is being honest about it. Normally when people ask me how I am it is the usual: great, I’m excited, good, etc. And, I started to do that with some of my closest friends on Saturday night. Then I stopped myself and thought what am I saying? I’m standing in front of these girls that have known me my entire life and I can’t tell them how I am really feeling? BS… So, out with it right over the red onions I was chopping up for our meal. “You know what, no, it isn’t going well… I HAVE NO SELF LOVE right now.” I think it shocked us all. That’s all I needed, to say it and move on with it. And they responded exactly how I needed them to, with love and stop being a dumb ass attitudes. Then we went about our business and my eyes got all teary… from the onions! Man, I love them. Ladies, how do we not get one picture of our kids together or us that night?!

I got another great reminder from a dear friend this morning when I decided to be vulnerable and open up. God does have my back and He has blessed me with the ability to do this and to care for my family and inspire and motivate countless people along the way. He has allowed me to spread my wings and sent the wind to direct them.

I’m a strong girl, I will get where I need to be. I’m almost there, but part of being me means that I beat myself up from time to time when I really shouldn’t. It’s like climbing that long hill where every moment of it sucks, your legs burn, your stomach cramps, your pace slows, and you feel like you can’t really go on, until you get to the top and you feel more alive than you have ever felt and stronger than you will ever need to be because of what you just got up without quitting. Things are coming together and once I have that tan sprayed on my DIVA IS ON. Look out, KC!!! Little t’s coming for you!



This weekend:

Dale’s athletes did an awesome job at state! So, so proud of him and them. But, I missed him big time!

I had a girl’s run with my high school girlfriends. This is the first time that we all got together to do something like this. We did it for our special little Madi that will always have such a special place in our hearts. We are so proud of the little lady she is growing into. I really wish I could go into that story, but now isn’t the time. Just know, she’s one little miracle. Two of my friends had never ran a 5k before. I asked the group about 9 months ago to set a goal and get a race on the calendar. They were all willing to do so and started training for it. It didn’t matter what speed it was, but we all did it, together. Love it! Such a great day.

Shelly, on the far left ran awesome!  I think she was chasing after her little bro., so proud of her.  She runs much faster than I do!!

Then it was on to posing practice – thank God my sister took some video. I needed to see it no matter how much I didn’t like it. Gotta make tweaks and that’s what it was for.

ZenFit girls!!!

Later to dinner with my girls and their families. I love this group!!! I just wish we could do it more.

Sunday was a day full of me trying to catch up and set my mind right. I had a lot to do and of course didn’t get half of it done. Dale was home, but had yards to mow and invited us to go along. The fact that I hadn’t seen my husband in what seemed like forever made me forget about the laundry and go anyway. It all worked out well and we all got some time together. It wasn’t all joyful, but I’m glad we did it. It took me a little while to release my stress of just up and leaving all I had to do to find ways to entertain a 2, 4, and 6 year old in restricted space while their daddy was busy, but once I did we all enjoyed ourselves.

LOL, telling some story!

Dirty grump!

Yep, spontaneous push-ups.  Love that kid!

Sunday’s are usually my long, endorphin flowing, epic runs, but I had to rest Sunday. That probably had a lot to do with my state of mind as well.



So, here we go… 6 DAYS!!!!

10 Days

10 days out

I feel stronger than ever and sore. The area I'm still concerned about is my lower abs. They are as stubborn as Weston. Sure they are solid and sure, I have a 6 pack, but dang I want those lines deep and it just isn't happening. It also likes to stick out despite the above. I’m not overly concerned about it. I’m happy with what I will be stepping on stage with regardless.

There is something that just isn’t right this week. All things are not peacefully coming together. I’m behind in a lot of things at home due to ball games and food prep and grocery shopping and Dale working every night when he comes home. Plus, he has a sinus infection. I know that stuff can wait but that area is off. There is laundry in baskets all over my house. Most of them are folded, which is a miracle but I have yet to find the time to put them away. The only time I could actually find the time is when those little monsters are supposed to be asleep.

My head is a little off too. Just old wounds coming to surface. I know the issues, I just have to find a way to deal with them in a healthy productive way.

Speaking of wounds, I was at Wal-Mart last night with Weston and Waylon. We passed an older man who had bibbed overalls on. We never saw his face, but as we were passing him Waylon says, “Hi Papa”. He wasn’t expecting a response. The guy never turned around to address him and Waylon didn’t need that. It was just his 4 year old little way of saying that man reminded him of his late grandpa. My first reaction was sadness. I wanted to cry right there by the light bulbs, but I knew that wasn’t healthy to do. I think once I start crying I may not stop.

Exercise is way more than just making your body physically strong. It works your mind as well. In the process of getting your body fat down and leaning out it searches every part of you. Even those little crevices in your brain where you like to tuck things away to deal with another day.

The workouts are crazy. I think I literally felt every bit of energy drain from my fingertips as I was leaving the gym yesterday. I have given up on doing my hair. No point in doing my hair for the morning when I will soak it over my lunch hour and it will end up in a ponytail the rest of the day anyway. Two more weeks, my work peeps are just going to have to deal with a less attractive, smelly me. Oh, hi, new president that just joined our company! What’s that about first impressions? Oh well.

I know I said I wanted to blog every day, but as you can see that is hard to do with everything going on right now. I will do the best I can. Tonight it is a rush home, eat dinner, and rush out the door to travel about 40 minutes for another ball game. It’s going to be a long night! But, it is Wyatt’s very first machine pitch game and I’m really excited to see how he does.

This is Waylon from his game Monday night.  His uniform is so big and his portly little body just screamed Babe Ruth to me.  So stinkin cute.  His team did awesome for their first game!

The Countdown Begins and my Momma's Day

It’s killer week…. The show is in 12 days. This week I’m hitting it hard in the gym. Well, that’s no different, I guess. I’ve been hitting it hard. But, 12 days. Only one Saturday in-between. I know this is a big commitment, but I want to try to blog every day. It might not be much. Maybe a line or 2 just to check in and let you know how I’m doing/feeling. This week is a busy week if we can actually get some baseball games in. It’s a busy week at work as well. And, Dale leaves for the State Track Meet on Thursday, so solo-parenting it is for me! Yay – ha!


Speaking of, I’m so happy for Dale. He had a small team this year, but a great group of kids. They ended up qualifying 6 kids for State for 4 events. When the 4x1 team found out they qualified they were so excited. One of them was standing my Dale and the other coach when they delivered the news… priceless moment right there. They were so happy. I’m glad I caught a glimpse of that moment. My husband is an awesome coach. I felt you should know. Track State is a pretty special time and one the athletes won’t forget. So proud of them!  They love our boys too.

Mother’s day – I felt loved and appreciated. How a 4 and 6 year old know it is important to make me feel loved blows my mind. They were bringing me “flowers” all day. Waylon came in with some dandelions and some of my mom’s tiger lilies later. So sweet those boys! Dale had to work. That’s what happens when you start your own little business. You have to make sacrifices. I wish I could have helped him, but I had my hands too full. We all had a great lunch together and then went to do our own thing. I missed him, but I was ok with it.

Yes, he looks like me!

I started my day with an outstanding run. I was supposed to do a 15k race, but who can find an actual race at that distance? Not around here. So, I decided it would be my own little race. I ditched my water bottle and GU in my driveway because it would turn out to be my half way point. I ran my hilly 4 mile route as the sun came up. I’ve fallen in love with that way. I got up the steeper hills chanting “plump that bootay” I crack myself up. I added a little extra to it because of the distance I needed for the day. I said hi to the cows and I was feeling great. I got back to my driveway and jogged for a little bit so I could eat my GU and then drink some water I took a picture too.

4.88 miles down

 This was my slowest mile, as expected. I ditched my water bottle again as I headed into town. Holding the water bottle when I run just means long and slow to my mind and I wasn’t in the mood to run long and slow. My legs were feeling so good I decided to go with how I was feeling and not really hold anything back worrying about having enough left for the miles ahead of me. I didn’t get anything in on Saturday other than being on my feet the whole day, so I had a lot of stress and frustration around having 2 rest days in the week. Plus, my eating and water intake on Saturday was poor!!! I didn’t eat enough and I didn’t drink enough. I feared Sunday’s run because of that.

As I headed into town I decided to take the routes I liked the best. That worked out well. I saved the cemetery for my last couple of miles. I thought maybe I wouldn’t have the emotional breakdown if it was in my later miles instead of close to the middle. Worked like a charm! I ran up the hill with a smile on my face and I ran through there feeling awesome. Somewhere along the way I muted my app which usually tells me my mileage and my pace every mile, but he shut his mouth long ago so I didn’t know where exactly I was or how my pace was going. Instead of stopping to try to figure it out I told myself I feel good, just go with how well you feel. Don’t worry about the pace. BEST.DECSION.EEEEVVVVEEEERRRRRRRR! I tried to check it coming out of the cemetery and I was around 8 miles. I had 2 miles at the least to get back to the house.

So homeward I went. The good feeling just wasn’t going away. I really couldn’t get over the way I was feeling and I knew my pace was good just by my form. The last hill before the bridge usually has me running like I’m pushing a walker with a broken hip or something, but I flew up it Sunday. I had to stop and get my hidden water bottle in which it hurt to not be moving and back up I went. Down shifted, I had about 800 meters left. Homestretch, literally. I found myself sprinting to my driveway. Felt so stinkin good!!! I did not tell myself one negative thing or doubt myself the entire run. The last 4 or so miles I was chanting Strong Legs, Strong Mind, Strong Core and going through my favorite running verse, Isaiah 40:31.

I stopped my app and was beside myself when I saw that I had just completed 10.34 miles at a 8:26 pace. That may not sound fast to some, but I’m only running twice a week. I’m not in full blown half marathon training and I’m running better than I did at my peak last year.

Breakdown:
Mile 1 – 8:46 – It was 36 degrees and dark
Mile 2 – 8:30
Mile 3 – 8:45
Mile 4 – 8:16 – up the longest and most hated hill. The kind of hill you forget you are even going uphill except for how your body is completely bogged down. It seems flat when your feet are moving. Long incline – those are the killers!!!
Mile 5 – 9:24 – drink, GU, picture
Mile 6 – 8:30
Mile 7 – 8:30
Mile 8 – 8:04
Mile 9 – 8:27
Mile 10 – 8:01

I got my Maddox and stretched in my favorite spot and then headed in to hug 4 jammie wearing sleepy heads (my nephew spent the night). A great start to Mother’s Day. I was feeling it later. I was a little more tired than I expected through church and got cranky because I was hungry right after, but all things that were fixable. I ate a nice big plate of chicken, shrimp, and rice and headed out to celebrate my momma.

Throughout the day my left foot/ankle was hurting. I think it was just tired. It feels a lot better today. I’m not worried about it at this point. I’ve had the same pain in my heel last year, but it isn’t anything worth quitting for.

We stayed too late at my parents and it was loads and loads of laundry to fold and 3 really dirty boys to get showered up and in bed once I got home. As I was getting Wyatt’s bag ready for today I found a Mother’s Day card he had forgotten to give me. I took it back to him and asked why he didn’t tell me about it. He got a really familiar embarrassed smile on his face and said, “That picture… oh my Gosh, it is so stupid. I didn’t want to do that, but teacher made me. So dumb.” As he shook his head.

I laughed hysterically and could NOT get over how much of his personality is just like his daddy’s. He would look at the picture and just shake his head and laugh. I love him. I love that sweet middle one too. And that little one that makes me earn every single bit of this title of Mommy!

Hope you all had a good one too. I’ll check in tomorrow.

Somedays to This Days

 

• 

  3 boys
• A full time job
• 2 hour commute each day
• The kids need picked up by 5
• Dinners to fix
• A husband who coaches and spends long hours at school, cares for our extended family, and holds another job while school is out
• Too much cleaning to keep up with
• Sleep
• I’m tired
• Social media time
• Family time
• Time with friends
• Cost/money/expenses
• Don’t have the right equipment
• Too much homework
• Too many after school commitments
• I look fine in my clothes
• I don’t know what I’m doing
• I don’t know how to get started
• I’m not fast
• I don’t know the moves

 

That is a list of excuses I used to use to do everything I could to not break a sweat. I was an athlete all of my life. I paid my dues. I have never been overweight and was at my heaviest when I was supposed to be heavy, during pregnancy. I was an unhealthy skinny with high cholesterol, which is hereditary, but it can be controlled with the right decisions. I thought that I used to impress people with the amount of food I could eat and still keep my figure. The truth, I felt like crap. I was unhappy as a person and I was unhappy with myself, but weight wasn’t my issue.

 

All of these excuses still exist. And maybe if I hadn’t gone to support my sister stepping up on stage to turn pro in figure modeling I’d still be avoiding lacing up my Nikes and pulling my hair back. But, I did. I went and it lit a fire under my rear. I finally made the decision to start living the best life I could live. Life has a lot to offer. Our bodies and minds can do some amazing things. Our minds can dream, our feet can make those dreams reality, not just left at the tall office building window where you left them. It’s all about a decision.

 

My time of having babies was done and all that was left was raising babies and getting old.  WHAT?!  No!  For a long time this word was on repeat in my mind, “SOMEDAY”. Someday I will start praying and not fall asleep before I finish. Someday I will get back to amazing shape. Someday I would like to just get out and enjoy a run again whenever the thought hits my mind. Someday I would like to hold my shoulders back and feel confident about myself. Someday I would like to go up north and experience God’s scenery. Someday I would like to play a game of basketball or run with my growing boys and keep up with them.

 

Someday…. Well, who knows if I will have a someday and my boys are watching me this day. They naturally whine enough, they don’t need my influence with using excuses when things are too hard. Instead of dreaming about that bucket list and knowing it will never happen, why not write those dreams down and take a step to MAKING them happen. How about making more of those somedays into this days. And, how about you look awesome and feel awesome while doing so. That’s where I was a year ago.

 

Many of you that have been reading for some time know the whole story. Many of you have known me my entire life. You know me. You know what drives me.  You have inspired me in many aspects of my life. And, you have supported me. I really couldn’t be any more grateful.

 

This year, 2013, my 33rd year on this earth, I’m making some of those dreams reality. 3 seems to be my number this year. 12 has been my number as an athlete growing up and it stayed true to me last year as making that decision and taking steps to get healthy came true. Probably one of the top 10 most important decisions in my life.

 

I cracked the window last year and this year I’m pushing open doors. My sister made me an offer I really can’t refuse. She has offered to train and support me if I step on stage and compete. Up to this point we kept the physical part of our lives separate. She did what she did and I did what I did. We didn’t even really talk about fitness. As of last Monday we are combining those efforts. I don’t know the category just yet and I’m not officially registered. But, I’m doing it. Competing in this way has never really been a dream of mine, but something I thought would be pretty awesome to say I did once upon a time. I don’t plan to make this a career. Who knows if I will ever do it again, but I’d like to take this chance and go for it. Who knows what windows will be cracked or doors pushed open because of it.

 

I got really nervous when she pitched the idea and the thought of being on stage in heels and a bathing suit is a bit, um, like Freddy Krueger frightening. The last time I was on stage was as some Spice girl singing Wannabe. I had to morph into another personality to be able to get up there and we ROCKED it. Zigazig ah!

 

I just finished up session two with her and she is pinpointing physical weaknesses. Man, she’s really good at what she does and the reality of these physical weaknesses when I feel like I’m in pretty good shape is rather frustrating. I really don’t know how I will ever repay her for what all she has done for me in my life.

 

In January I made some resolutions/goals. Things like, be better at devotionals and reading God’s word. Stop yelling as a parent. Do better at self-discipline. Compete in races, etc. I can tell you that things are starting to fall into place. I have gotten behind in a few areas, but have made it a priority to catch back up and things are going pretty well. But, nothing started working as well until I started spending more time with God. Devotionals, listening to messages on the radio, listening to Christian music, and praying more intently. Nothing has worked quite right before I spent more time on that piece.

 

A few big things the next few months:

 

• Find ways to incorporate my passion for running/fitness into our church and surrounding churches (if you have ideas please let me know. I’m thinking a running club or a fitness group that meets a couple times a week with volunteer babysitters. If you are in my area and interested in this please let me know and we can put our heads together. If you aren’t in my area, pray about it, please?)
• Maybe a tattoo.  I have one in mind but we will see how things play out
• May: Step on stage for a WBFF competition & run a 5k with my high school best friends (Gotta get with my friends! Ha Ha #spicegirlreference #friendshipneverends)
• June: Run my 1st ever Half Marathon & celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary
• August: See God’s scenery up in Portland as I run to the coast

So, there are a lot of big things coming in the next few months that I am beyond excited about.  Like flush in the cheeks, weak at the knees (no, that was just Tionna's workout yesterday) excited about.  I would love your support and feedback.  You can count on hearing everything about these along the way.  

 

And to finish this post up with some hilarity... here are some outtakes to our mini, let's get the camera out, really bad light, last minute improvs to a background, hold your head up (through gritted teeth), Wyatt please come over here and do another one, EVERYONE LOOK AT THE CAMERA, my mother will be ashamed of the quality of these photos, everyone gets a turn with the remote, stop whining, get your hand off my face, COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW photoshoot in my bedroom after a morning workout with the day before's makeup and gross workout hair and no time to do any kind of editing other than what was already poorly done.  Please, prepare yourself for laughter.... and you're welcome!

 

 

 

 

 

Smashed it! My 2nd 5k

I awoke early and nervous.  I visualized what I would do at the starting line.  Why was I getting so intense with this? 

I felt good.  My legs rested.  But, I couldn't shake this nervous feeling.

I grabbed a quick bite to eat, stepped out on my deck to see how awesome it felt outside.  The perfect time to run, early in the morning when the fog is still lifting and there is the slightest bit of dew on the grass.  The air feels crisp on your shoulders.  There is no better time to run in my opinion. 

I threw my shoes on and headed out the door.  28 minutes is what I was shooting for.  It seemed like that race was never going to start.  Watching a handful of "real" runners warm up along the road didn't help shake that nervous feeling in my gut.  I'm not really sure just how much stretching your hamstrings is too much but I'm sure I got close to the healthy limit.   

This race was special to me in a more personal way than my first 5k.  My high school coach was there along with a few other people that I grew up with.  This race was held in my hometown honoring a kid that died in an ATV accident and rocked our community to the core.  Many of the people I ran with were pretty close to him.  The red head on my right above has a little sister that was best friends with this kid.  The race is pretty meaningful to their family.  I pass his memorial every time I drive to my parent's house and there isn't a time that goes by that I don't think about how quickly life changes.

My Father-in-law fell from his semi truck almost 2 years ago and sustained similar injuries as Kirk, the boy we honored, I chose to run for him. 

These girls?  Two of some of my best friends.  The one in the middle, I grew up with her.  She was at my house riding four wheelers when we were in third grade and we have stuck together in the same group of people since we realized what groups of friends were all about.  I'm so proud of her triathlete self.  I'd never thought she'd be doing what she's doing.  Love her.

The other one, the red head?  If I had to describe her using one word it would be strength without hesitation.  Our relationship started with running and went into softball and runs much, much deeper.  I love this girl to death and she inspires me to be a better person every stinkin day.  She's a friend that I can catch up with wherever we left off and I keep finding that my love for this girl never fades.

Thank you, ladies for agreeing to go out and get this one.  We set our goal, pushed each other, and did what we showed up to do. 

We started out well, coasted as much as possible during the 2nd mile, and pushed with what was left for the 3rd.  I was shooting for 28 with hopes of smashing it and that is exactly what I did.  I wish now I would have pushed harder in the 2nd mile.  26.46 was my finishing time with my girls close behind me. 

I can't explain how good I felt.  My legs fresh and my breathing strong.  There was one time  at about the 2.5 mile mark where my emotions about got the best of me.  I wasn't hurting.  I was allowing myself to take in the experience and quickly found it wasn't going to be beneficial to my goal.  I took it in, took a deep breath and pushed harder.  I had too much left.  I wasn't even sore the next day, which only fuels my fire to get better and push my next goal. 

I'm addicted.  I can't get enough of these 5k's, of this runner's high I get coming to the finish line and the feeling right after of accomplishment and success.   It feels so dang good!  If you are on the fence about stepping out and doing something like this, I can't encourage you enough to take the 1st steps and do it.  Just pick up your feet one day and continue the next.  Go out and run one.  If you walk, it isn't the end of the world, actually there are a lot of walkers that participate in 5k's.  There was one lady that introduced herself to us with the biggest smile on her face who planned to walk.  She excitedly explained this was her 1st one and that smile never faded even at the finish line and after.  Inspiring to say the least.  Just keep getting stronger.  The benefit you get out of getting up and getting moving is priceless.  Remember, the 1st time I got back into running I started off with a 5k and that was the 1st time my feet hit the pavement for a run for well over a year.  You CAN do it. 

If you do it, or if you make a change in your life to be more physical and active will you let me know? You can email me or hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.  I would love to hear about it and celebrate with you.  

FYI: The medals?  I won my age group (31 to 35, I think), the tall blonde got second and the red head won her age group. 

So much pride and love for you, Mary and Cherryh.  Until the next one...

Working Out Effing Sucks

It’s getting harder and harder to get up in the morning. My motivation is slipping and I’m tired. Let me take you through this morning in which there will be cussing. I apologize if you don’t know me as a cusser, but when I’m stressed, tired, mad, irritated, I cuss. My apologies!


My head fit perfectly in the pillow.

My legs stretched out and my toes rubbed against the soft quilt that shielded my body from the cool air. Aw, this feels so damn good.

MRRR MRRRR MRRRR MRRR

The harsh sound of the alarm clock jolts my mind into a negative whirlwind of loath and resentment for the new morning. What freakin day is it?

4:30 my squinted eyes took in the ridiculous hour that my body had been starting the days with since back in January

I can’t get up this morning. Six hours of sleep is not enough. Did I even get that many? How can I find an extra hour in my day? I can’t keep doing this. I could do it after work. No, I can’t because dinner and what if I want to hang out with the boys when I get home? I will just end up making too many excuses and not get it done. Just get up.

My feet hit the floor. I glare at my tired face in the mirror and know I need to be getting more sleep consistently or my body is going to look damn good, but my face is going to make me look at least 10 years older. I’m going to be one of those girls that has the slammin body until she turns around and her face ruins it all.

I get dressed and tiptoe my way to the living room checking the furniture for creeping bodies that migrate there in the night sometimes. This morning there was no one to carry back to bed.

I try to find every excuse not to get started. Check Facebook. Check Instagram. You never know what interesting crap happened in the last 8 or so hours through the middle of the night. Pick up toys. Open the blinds. There’s nothing left to sabotage my time.

Shawn T it is.

Jogging it out

Feeling better and better and thankful I started.

Second round I’m sweating but feeling good.

Third round I’m tired but pushing.

Shawn T mumbles something about being nervous for his own workout which motivates the crap out of me. So much that I want to just hit the off button.

My mind wonders back to how I can get an extra hour in my day and more sleep.

We’re in it now.

I think Shawn T just ripped his shorts

“You can do it. Push! Push!”

FUCK!

Level 8 drills. Holy crap. I’m skipping the 1st two as I’m on all fours hanging my head as far down as possible. Ok, let’s go. 8 push ups. My eyes look down at my stomach while in plank position to see the remnants of the 3 boys sagging in my mid-section. Gotta love the plank position where any bit of fat you have comes hanging down like a dog’s well nursed tits. Sexy right?! Yep, that’s why I’m still doing this crap.

Sweat dripping, my nose running, I push on.

Lower abs and ass, lower abs and ass… That’s what keeps chanting in my mind. I gotta keep going and pushing.

Suicide jumps

Down, back, up, jump
Down, back, up, jump
Down, back, up, fuck
Down, back, up, fuck
How much time is left?
Down, back, up, fuck

Tomorrow I’m going for a run. Screw this shit.
You can’t go for a run, it’s dark.
I have reflective gear don’t I?
What about the murders that get up early and prey on runners – not making fun – that really happens
I could carry a knife in my shorts.
Yeah, and stab my hip flexor every time I take a step.

Down, back, up, fuck

What about the snakes and the skunks?

What if I got sprayed by a skunk? Waylon says skunk as “stunk”! I start laughing then immediately cough to try to get up the mucous in the back of my throat that is chocking me.

How could I sweat so much?
My shorts are soaked.

20 seconds left. I’ve got this. Do it for the swimming suit.

Freakin push up jacks.

3
2
1

That’s it. I did it. Another workout crossed off the list. My legs feel awesome. Look, my quads look good and I actually have some acceptable calf muscles.

Breathe in
Breathe out

In the middle of the hip flexor stretch I feel my ass cheek on my hamstring and that tells me I’ll be getting my happy ass up tomorrow morning to do it all over again.

Mirror check – Yep I still have that cellulite under my ass. God, this is annoying!

 

These are my honest thoughts while going through a workout. Yes, it fucking sucks sometimes. It is hard and unforgiving, but it is so worth it. I feel strong. My body is toned. I have enough energy for late night games of kick ball or dancing around crazy with the boys. I can keep up with them and I plan to be able to do so for a long ass time.

As I walked into my building this morning I looked around, every woman around me was overweight. Their ass cheeks hitting the middle of their backs as they walked. It is sad. It is extremely sad. I’m going to keep pushing on. I’m going to keep talking about it and I’m going to keep blogging about it. I’ll never know who is going to catch on and take the 1st step in getting themselves healthy, so maybe I can be an example. A motivator. Maybe I can be the difference.

Working out sucks, but I’ve gotta keep doing it! The way I feel after is amazing and the results I do see I’m extremely happy with. I’m going to keep pushing and sweating and probably cussing. I’m going to keep making my own excuses and then kicking their asses.

I need you guys. I need you guys at 4:30am when my motivation is the lowest and the minutes right after to just keep taking the first steps. Let me hear you. If you are working out, what keeps you motivated? How do you keep going? If you’re not working out, what excuses are you making? What’s preventing you from taking the first step and sticking with it? Share if you will. I won’t cuss at you, but I’d love to hear where you’re coming from.