Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Working Out Effing Sucks

It’s getting harder and harder to get up in the morning. My motivation is slipping and I’m tired. Let me take you through this morning in which there will be cussing. I apologize if you don’t know me as a cusser, but when I’m stressed, tired, mad, irritated, I cuss. My apologies!

My head fit perfectly in the pillow.

My legs stretched out and my toes rubbed against the soft quilt that shielded my body from the cool air. Aw, this feels so damn good.


The harsh sound of the alarm clock jolts my mind into a negative whirlwind of loath and resentment for the new morning. What freakin day is it?

4:30 my squinted eyes took in the ridiculous hour that my body had been starting the days with since back in January

I can’t get up this morning. Six hours of sleep is not enough. Did I even get that many? How can I find an extra hour in my day? I can’t keep doing this. I could do it after work. No, I can’t because dinner and what if I want to hang out with the boys when I get home? I will just end up making too many excuses and not get it done. Just get up.

My feet hit the floor. I glare at my tired face in the mirror and know I need to be getting more sleep consistently or my body is going to look damn good, but my face is going to make me look at least 10 years older. I’m going to be one of those girls that has the slammin body until she turns around and her face ruins it all.

I get dressed and tiptoe my way to the living room checking the furniture for creeping bodies that migrate there in the night sometimes. This morning there was no one to carry back to bed.

I try to find every excuse not to get started. Check Facebook. Check Instagram. You never know what interesting crap happened in the last 8 or so hours through the middle of the night. Pick up toys. Open the blinds. There’s nothing left to sabotage my time.

Shawn T it is.

Jogging it out

Feeling better and better and thankful I started.

Second round I’m sweating but feeling good.

Third round I’m tired but pushing.

Shawn T mumbles something about being nervous for his own workout which motivates the crap out of me. So much that I want to just hit the off button.

My mind wonders back to how I can get an extra hour in my day and more sleep.

We’re in it now.

I think Shawn T just ripped his shorts

“You can do it. Push! Push!”


Level 8 drills. Holy crap. I’m skipping the 1st two as I’m on all fours hanging my head as far down as possible. Ok, let’s go. 8 push ups. My eyes look down at my stomach while in plank position to see the remnants of the 3 boys sagging in my mid-section. Gotta love the plank position where any bit of fat you have comes hanging down like a dog’s well nursed tits. Sexy right?! Yep, that’s why I’m still doing this crap.

Sweat dripping, my nose running, I push on.

Lower abs and ass, lower abs and ass… That’s what keeps chanting in my mind. I gotta keep going and pushing.

Suicide jumps

Down, back, up, jump
Down, back, up, jump
Down, back, up, fuck
Down, back, up, fuck
How much time is left?
Down, back, up, fuck

Tomorrow I’m going for a run. Screw this shit.
You can’t go for a run, it’s dark.
I have reflective gear don’t I?
What about the murders that get up early and prey on runners – not making fun – that really happens
I could carry a knife in my shorts.
Yeah, and stab my hip flexor every time I take a step.

Down, back, up, fuck

What about the snakes and the skunks?

What if I got sprayed by a skunk? Waylon says skunk as “stunk”! I start laughing then immediately cough to try to get up the mucous in the back of my throat that is chocking me.

How could I sweat so much?
My shorts are soaked.

20 seconds left. I’ve got this. Do it for the swimming suit.

Freakin push up jacks.


That’s it. I did it. Another workout crossed off the list. My legs feel awesome. Look, my quads look good and I actually have some acceptable calf muscles.

Breathe in
Breathe out

In the middle of the hip flexor stretch I feel my ass cheek on my hamstring and that tells me I’ll be getting my happy ass up tomorrow morning to do it all over again.

Mirror check – Yep I still have that cellulite under my ass. God, this is annoying!


These are my honest thoughts while going through a workout. Yes, it fucking sucks sometimes. It is hard and unforgiving, but it is so worth it. I feel strong. My body is toned. I have enough energy for late night games of kick ball or dancing around crazy with the boys. I can keep up with them and I plan to be able to do so for a long ass time.

As I walked into my building this morning I looked around, every woman around me was overweight. Their ass cheeks hitting the middle of their backs as they walked. It is sad. It is extremely sad. I’m going to keep pushing on. I’m going to keep talking about it and I’m going to keep blogging about it. I’ll never know who is going to catch on and take the 1st step in getting themselves healthy, so maybe I can be an example. A motivator. Maybe I can be the difference.

Working out sucks, but I’ve gotta keep doing it! The way I feel after is amazing and the results I do see I’m extremely happy with. I’m going to keep pushing and sweating and probably cussing. I’m going to keep making my own excuses and then kicking their asses.

I need you guys. I need you guys at 4:30am when my motivation is the lowest and the minutes right after to just keep taking the first steps. Let me hear you. If you are working out, what keeps you motivated? How do you keep going? If you’re not working out, what excuses are you making? What’s preventing you from taking the first step and sticking with it? Share if you will. I won’t cuss at you, but I’d love to hear where you’re coming from.


  1. Yes, this is precisely why I don't work out = I don't want to put curse words on my shitty fucking blog. I will admit that I was a little disappointed that I didn't get a real curse word until half way through. "Seriously, she thinks 'damn' and 'crap' are curse words?" I was worried I was going to have to let you fly away and not be your friend because I'm too trashy for you. Whew! Thanks for coming through with a few F-bombs. P.S. You look AMAZING!

  2. I NEEDED this today. I typically am pretty faithful in my working out, but the last few months have not been good...I am lucky if I get three workouts in each week...and that's NOT ENOUGH! Insaniy is my workout of choice, so I LOVED reading this. My stress level has been high, and life with three kids is exhausting sometimes, but I KNOW if I would stop making excuses, and get back on the "plan" I would be less stressed, have more energy, etc. SO, Thanks TK, I am feeling motivated right now and I am going to GET MY LAZY ASS up in the morning and not put it off til nap time...cuz that's not working! Love ya!

    1. Take it out on the jabs, Christen. Love you girl and can't wait to see you soon!

  3. I rarely read a blog all the way through these days but you are such a good writer. Just you talking about working out makes me want to read every word because I feel like I'm having a conversation with you. Gifted girl you are! I think of how much working out makes me stronger in every other area of my life. It helps me be a fighter. determined. strong. And damn, it is nice to look good. When we look good, we feel good. We have better sex. WE feel sexy. A glass of wine is better. EVerything is better!!!

    1. DID YOU HEAR YHAT EVERYONE? BETTER SEX! Who passes up better sex?!

    2. Thank you so much, Amanda. I love when you read. I love feeding off of you and working to be better people, better wives. Better mommies!



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