Shaved, Plucked, Toned, And Ready

Whew! I’m still so full of emotion, but excitement for this show is right under the surface. I’ve been reflecting a lot last night and this morning about all of this. Like I’ve said so many times before, it is so much more than sweating in the gym and stepping on stage. I’ve learned so much, but the thing I will value the most is the confidence I have gained in my strength as a person. I will never ever be able to tell you all how much the connection with others and the deep relationships I have gained along this process mean to me. I opened myself up. I was vulnerable. I shared my extreme excitement and I have shared my lows and you all have responded and I’m richer for that. We are richer for that! I’ve already won a million times over with the responses I have received from so many people about how my willingness to share my journey has inspired and motivated them to start their own journey. Maybe it isn’t a path to clear heels, a tiny bikini, and spray tans, but it is a journey they will travel to say they are living THEIR BEST LIVES. That’s all I could wish for. If I don’t place, if I never even get called out for a closer look, I’ve already won.


I’m stepping up there and representing you all. The ones that have had my back and cheered me on and let me know it and the ones that kept silent. I wanted my biggest audience to be those moms out there that are at their wits end with how they look and feel and crushing under the intense pressure of what comes with three little letters, M*O*M. I wanted you to know that if I can do it, you can too. You can make it work. You can find immense JOY in YOUR life. You can be YOU and still LOVE them. You can get behind on things, let the laundry, dust, and dishes pile up and it is OK! Your best YOU makes them the best THEM. Just keep trying, moms. Every day you are blessed with, just keep trying. Embrace the hard crap and praise the Lord for the opportunity to grow stronger with EACH and EVERY struggle. Then go freakin dance in the rain when that spontaneous thought hits your mind because that is living. That is living your life with intent and purpose, joy and love. It absolutely does not mean everything is perfect and everything is ok. We all know that isn’t life. We all have a choice of how to deal with what we were dealt.

Along the way I’ve realized it isn’t only moms. Everyone deserves that chance to love their life. Just this week while I was at Wyatt’s field day a little girl in his class came to me and gave me a hug. I don’t know this little girl other than seeing her in Wyatt’s class for parties and field trips. Later she says to me, “I saw you on facebook” I really didn’t know how to respond other than to say YOU did?! Her mom mentioned that she saw my gym pic. I can only hope my image sticks in that little girl’s mind and she grows up knowing that she can be strong and successful if she works hard at it. Maybe she has no clue now what is behind that picture, but maybe someday she will get it. Wyatt also had a play date with a friend who offered him a cupcake in which he responds that I don’t let him have stuff like that. Mind you, that is totally not true, I do let them have stuff like that on occasion, but you better believe they know exactly what is in it and exactly what it does to your body. But him telling his friends that and actually talking about my show coming up means that he is getting it. He is seeing me work hard and running towards goals and I hope my example gives him the fire to do the same things! Even some men have reached out to ask questions and get advice. It’s just awesome! That is all I can say! AWESOME!!!

Last night my mother-in-law shared her thoughts about it with me. It meant so much and was so humbling at the same time. Last year when my sister won her pro card at this show and trained for World’s I really couldn’t have cheered louder. It was such a big deal to me and I was on top of the world excited for her. What a BIG thing she was doing. Now that I’m in the trenches of my own journey it doesn’t seem like SUCH a big deal. I mean, it is something I never thought I would do, but I still get all embarrassed about it when people bring it up and try to play it off like it really isn’t all that big of a deal now that I’m in those shoes. BUT, I have finally gotten to the point where I can say it kind of is a big deal. This was a huge goal to chase after and I did it! (I don’t know of any other way to describe that and I probably didn’t communicate what I wanted to. HUGE awesome deal for others/not so big for me because it is me and I’m just doing what I know to do with some help)

I should be proud of myself. I am proud of myself. This morning I opened one of my devotionals and it started with a little phrase my grandma taught me when I was little:

Here’s the church.
Here’s the steeple.
Open the doors.
See all the people.

I remember her hands as she did the motions. I will never forget her hands and her tiny frame. It was just that little nudge I needed (to send me into an ugly cry) to realize it is ok to be proud of what I have accomplished in a “don’t get so full of yourself” type of way. Her and my grandpa were always so proud of us as kids. I really can’t even imagine how they would be now.

My sister… she is the reason for this. If it wasn’t for her throwing that fastball high and tight (literally taking my boobs off) and challenging me with this goal I can be pretty sure I wouldn’t be at this place right now. She offered her time and has been there for me the whole time coaching me through. It wasn’t always easy and we went through some tough times that brought back some old wounds, but we grew. We learned. I hope we are both better because of it. I really can’t thank her enough. I hope to reward her with getting my ultimate diva on and continuing my pursuit in being the best me for the rest of my life with her love and encouragement by my side. I couldn't refer a better personal trainer who truly cares about her clients (sister aside).  Look for ZenFit coming soon.  She's a pro at transformation!!!

I didn’t do this alone. I had help. I had support. There were times I felt like I asked for help too much and maybe I did. That was probably the hardest part for me is the guilt and stress I put on myself around asking for help. As a mom of small kids we all have to do that sometimes and it is ok. There are people out there wanting you to ask. Actually, even if you don’t have kids and you are trying your very best, it’s ok to ask for help. I could go into a long rant about a lot of people out there that do nothing but take, take, take and never give back, but I won’t. This post isn’t about them. The ones that are jealous because they see me succeeding and they aren’t doing their best in their own lives and accuse me of being “phony” well, this post isn’t for them. The only things I choose not to share about some struggles in my life deal with other people and it isn’t fair to anyone if I sling my side of the stories around dragging someone through the mud. As much as I’ve wanted to sometimes, it isn’t fair and I’m not about that. I want to encourage and lift others up. I want to be true to MY story and the way I live MY life no matter what kind of drama you try to put in it.

Where was I? Oh, this Saturday… I’m ready. I have put in the hard work. I have followed my diet, sometimes not eating as much as I should have, but I was clean. I’m shaved, plucked, toned, and ready. My last workout was yesterday with some finishing touches to the bootay, so it is rest and relaxation until Saturday. Tonight I start my tan. Tomorrow is my day off to pack up, get my food ready for the day, tan again and mentally focus on why I am doing all of this. I’m gearing up to shine. To shine for me and to shine for you! Once I slip my athlete’s meeting dress on it is DIVA t until I wake up Sunday morning and run 12 miles, sweat, stink, probably cry, change at least 2 poopy diapers, check the underwear of the middle one, wipe snot from my son’s nose, pick the booger out of the other one’s, hear about 20 farts, break up fights, feed hungry mouths, clean up 10,000 messes, and pick up a birthday cake all before Wyatt’s birthday party. I’m sure I’ll say hi to my husband sometime in there.

If you are thinking of me, think “carriage, smooth flow, chest up, butt out, smile, lower tummy in, pose until it hurts”, please?!  I will be updating Facebook (my personal page and 5 Sharp Lives) as much as I can and I will also be posting to Instagram (tsharp12) but the reception in the building isn't the best, so I will do the best I can. 

You are probably sick of me saying it, but I don’t care…. THANK YOU SO STINKING MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THANK YOU FOR SO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!!  I wish I could run and jump into each of your arms right after the show. 

THANK YOU!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!

6 DAYS!

It’s here… peak week. I feel like I’ve fixed enough food for the entire month only to realize that it will maybe last me half the week. My goal for the week is to EAT and be present in the moments that are in front of me. To say the last few days have been a mental struggle is probably an understatement. I have doubted myself so much. I’m not really sure why I have beat myself up so bad. Maybe I’m just scared out of my little bikini bottoms. I got stressed just thinking about how stressful this week is going to be. I look at my calendar and just shake my head. But, why? The Lord has got my back. He’s sent the down pour of rain that will cancel my sons’ baseball games which means I have evenings free to make sure my food is ready, my bag is packed, and my time with my family is enjoyed to the fullest being all together and able to get things done at home that I need to get done. I don’t mean that to sound selfish. The baseball games will get rescheduled and I love every minute of them, but this show and this prep will not be rescheduled and I need the focus time.


I am getting better though. I think part of healing, working through stuff you are feeling is being honest about it. Normally when people ask me how I am it is the usual: great, I’m excited, good, etc. And, I started to do that with some of my closest friends on Saturday night. Then I stopped myself and thought what am I saying? I’m standing in front of these girls that have known me my entire life and I can’t tell them how I am really feeling? BS… So, out with it right over the red onions I was chopping up for our meal. “You know what, no, it isn’t going well… I HAVE NO SELF LOVE right now.” I think it shocked us all. That’s all I needed, to say it and move on with it. And they responded exactly how I needed them to, with love and stop being a dumb ass attitudes. Then we went about our business and my eyes got all teary… from the onions! Man, I love them. Ladies, how do we not get one picture of our kids together or us that night?!

I got another great reminder from a dear friend this morning when I decided to be vulnerable and open up. God does have my back and He has blessed me with the ability to do this and to care for my family and inspire and motivate countless people along the way. He has allowed me to spread my wings and sent the wind to direct them.

I’m a strong girl, I will get where I need to be. I’m almost there, but part of being me means that I beat myself up from time to time when I really shouldn’t. It’s like climbing that long hill where every moment of it sucks, your legs burn, your stomach cramps, your pace slows, and you feel like you can’t really go on, until you get to the top and you feel more alive than you have ever felt and stronger than you will ever need to be because of what you just got up without quitting. Things are coming together and once I have that tan sprayed on my DIVA IS ON. Look out, KC!!! Little t’s coming for you!



This weekend:

Dale’s athletes did an awesome job at state! So, so proud of him and them. But, I missed him big time!

I had a girl’s run with my high school girlfriends. This is the first time that we all got together to do something like this. We did it for our special little Madi that will always have such a special place in our hearts. We are so proud of the little lady she is growing into. I really wish I could go into that story, but now isn’t the time. Just know, she’s one little miracle. Two of my friends had never ran a 5k before. I asked the group about 9 months ago to set a goal and get a race on the calendar. They were all willing to do so and started training for it. It didn’t matter what speed it was, but we all did it, together. Love it! Such a great day.

Shelly, on the far left ran awesome!  I think she was chasing after her little bro., so proud of her.  She runs much faster than I do!!

Then it was on to posing practice – thank God my sister took some video. I needed to see it no matter how much I didn’t like it. Gotta make tweaks and that’s what it was for.

ZenFit girls!!!

Later to dinner with my girls and their families. I love this group!!! I just wish we could do it more.

Sunday was a day full of me trying to catch up and set my mind right. I had a lot to do and of course didn’t get half of it done. Dale was home, but had yards to mow and invited us to go along. The fact that I hadn’t seen my husband in what seemed like forever made me forget about the laundry and go anyway. It all worked out well and we all got some time together. It wasn’t all joyful, but I’m glad we did it. It took me a little while to release my stress of just up and leaving all I had to do to find ways to entertain a 2, 4, and 6 year old in restricted space while their daddy was busy, but once I did we all enjoyed ourselves.

LOL, telling some story!

Dirty grump!

Yep, spontaneous push-ups.  Love that kid!

Sunday’s are usually my long, endorphin flowing, epic runs, but I had to rest Sunday. That probably had a lot to do with my state of mind as well.



So, here we go… 6 DAYS!!!!

9 Days

Still officially 9 days out.

I'm in bed alone :(. Dale is gone for state. Best of luck to the Tigers tomorrow and Saturday.

I'm tired. I should be. Baseball games here and there after work. Tuesday ended up being a much needed rest day for the mind and body. I'm feeling much better.

Today's workout was great. I can't keep m eyes open though so I need to go with that.

Tomorrow a full day of work, another baseball game and then hopefully a movie with my little guys.

I'm excited for Saturday... It marks exactly a week, I get a run in with my high school girls.  We are running a 5k together. This is something we have been planning for about 9 months. So happy that we are doing this together. Some of them will be making their 5k debuts.

Then some posing practice and a date with my guys before we meet back up with the girls for dinner. This is a big weekend!!!!  No long run on Sunday. I'm ok with that and I'm confident I will be ok for the half the weekend after.

Ok, I've fallen asleep about 5 times trying to pull this together.

Peace out, homies!!!

10 Days

10 days out

I feel stronger than ever and sore. The area I'm still concerned about is my lower abs. They are as stubborn as Weston. Sure they are solid and sure, I have a 6 pack, but dang I want those lines deep and it just isn't happening. It also likes to stick out despite the above. I’m not overly concerned about it. I’m happy with what I will be stepping on stage with regardless.

There is something that just isn’t right this week. All things are not peacefully coming together. I’m behind in a lot of things at home due to ball games and food prep and grocery shopping and Dale working every night when he comes home. Plus, he has a sinus infection. I know that stuff can wait but that area is off. There is laundry in baskets all over my house. Most of them are folded, which is a miracle but I have yet to find the time to put them away. The only time I could actually find the time is when those little monsters are supposed to be asleep.

My head is a little off too. Just old wounds coming to surface. I know the issues, I just have to find a way to deal with them in a healthy productive way.

Speaking of wounds, I was at Wal-Mart last night with Weston and Waylon. We passed an older man who had bibbed overalls on. We never saw his face, but as we were passing him Waylon says, “Hi Papa”. He wasn’t expecting a response. The guy never turned around to address him and Waylon didn’t need that. It was just his 4 year old little way of saying that man reminded him of his late grandpa. My first reaction was sadness. I wanted to cry right there by the light bulbs, but I knew that wasn’t healthy to do. I think once I start crying I may not stop.

Exercise is way more than just making your body physically strong. It works your mind as well. In the process of getting your body fat down and leaning out it searches every part of you. Even those little crevices in your brain where you like to tuck things away to deal with another day.

The workouts are crazy. I think I literally felt every bit of energy drain from my fingertips as I was leaving the gym yesterday. I have given up on doing my hair. No point in doing my hair for the morning when I will soak it over my lunch hour and it will end up in a ponytail the rest of the day anyway. Two more weeks, my work peeps are just going to have to deal with a less attractive, smelly me. Oh, hi, new president that just joined our company! What’s that about first impressions? Oh well.

I know I said I wanted to blog every day, but as you can see that is hard to do with everything going on right now. I will do the best I can. Tonight it is a rush home, eat dinner, and rush out the door to travel about 40 minutes for another ball game. It’s going to be a long night! But, it is Wyatt’s very first machine pitch game and I’m really excited to see how he does.

This is Waylon from his game Monday night.  His uniform is so big and his portly little body just screamed Babe Ruth to me.  So stinkin cute.  His team did awesome for their first game!

The Countdown Begins and my Momma's Day

It’s killer week…. The show is in 12 days. This week I’m hitting it hard in the gym. Well, that’s no different, I guess. I’ve been hitting it hard. But, 12 days. Only one Saturday in-between. I know this is a big commitment, but I want to try to blog every day. It might not be much. Maybe a line or 2 just to check in and let you know how I’m doing/feeling. This week is a busy week if we can actually get some baseball games in. It’s a busy week at work as well. And, Dale leaves for the State Track Meet on Thursday, so solo-parenting it is for me! Yay – ha!


Speaking of, I’m so happy for Dale. He had a small team this year, but a great group of kids. They ended up qualifying 6 kids for State for 4 events. When the 4x1 team found out they qualified they were so excited. One of them was standing my Dale and the other coach when they delivered the news… priceless moment right there. They were so happy. I’m glad I caught a glimpse of that moment. My husband is an awesome coach. I felt you should know. Track State is a pretty special time and one the athletes won’t forget. So proud of them!  They love our boys too.

Mother’s day – I felt loved and appreciated. How a 4 and 6 year old know it is important to make me feel loved blows my mind. They were bringing me “flowers” all day. Waylon came in with some dandelions and some of my mom’s tiger lilies later. So sweet those boys! Dale had to work. That’s what happens when you start your own little business. You have to make sacrifices. I wish I could have helped him, but I had my hands too full. We all had a great lunch together and then went to do our own thing. I missed him, but I was ok with it.

Yes, he looks like me!

I started my day with an outstanding run. I was supposed to do a 15k race, but who can find an actual race at that distance? Not around here. So, I decided it would be my own little race. I ditched my water bottle and GU in my driveway because it would turn out to be my half way point. I ran my hilly 4 mile route as the sun came up. I’ve fallen in love with that way. I got up the steeper hills chanting “plump that bootay” I crack myself up. I added a little extra to it because of the distance I needed for the day. I said hi to the cows and I was feeling great. I got back to my driveway and jogged for a little bit so I could eat my GU and then drink some water I took a picture too.

4.88 miles down

 This was my slowest mile, as expected. I ditched my water bottle again as I headed into town. Holding the water bottle when I run just means long and slow to my mind and I wasn’t in the mood to run long and slow. My legs were feeling so good I decided to go with how I was feeling and not really hold anything back worrying about having enough left for the miles ahead of me. I didn’t get anything in on Saturday other than being on my feet the whole day, so I had a lot of stress and frustration around having 2 rest days in the week. Plus, my eating and water intake on Saturday was poor!!! I didn’t eat enough and I didn’t drink enough. I feared Sunday’s run because of that.

As I headed into town I decided to take the routes I liked the best. That worked out well. I saved the cemetery for my last couple of miles. I thought maybe I wouldn’t have the emotional breakdown if it was in my later miles instead of close to the middle. Worked like a charm! I ran up the hill with a smile on my face and I ran through there feeling awesome. Somewhere along the way I muted my app which usually tells me my mileage and my pace every mile, but he shut his mouth long ago so I didn’t know where exactly I was or how my pace was going. Instead of stopping to try to figure it out I told myself I feel good, just go with how well you feel. Don’t worry about the pace. BEST.DECSION.EEEEVVVVEEEERRRRRRRR! I tried to check it coming out of the cemetery and I was around 8 miles. I had 2 miles at the least to get back to the house.

So homeward I went. The good feeling just wasn’t going away. I really couldn’t get over the way I was feeling and I knew my pace was good just by my form. The last hill before the bridge usually has me running like I’m pushing a walker with a broken hip or something, but I flew up it Sunday. I had to stop and get my hidden water bottle in which it hurt to not be moving and back up I went. Down shifted, I had about 800 meters left. Homestretch, literally. I found myself sprinting to my driveway. Felt so stinkin good!!! I did not tell myself one negative thing or doubt myself the entire run. The last 4 or so miles I was chanting Strong Legs, Strong Mind, Strong Core and going through my favorite running verse, Isaiah 40:31.

I stopped my app and was beside myself when I saw that I had just completed 10.34 miles at a 8:26 pace. That may not sound fast to some, but I’m only running twice a week. I’m not in full blown half marathon training and I’m running better than I did at my peak last year.

Breakdown:
Mile 1 – 8:46 – It was 36 degrees and dark
Mile 2 – 8:30
Mile 3 – 8:45
Mile 4 – 8:16 – up the longest and most hated hill. The kind of hill you forget you are even going uphill except for how your body is completely bogged down. It seems flat when your feet are moving. Long incline – those are the killers!!!
Mile 5 – 9:24 – drink, GU, picture
Mile 6 – 8:30
Mile 7 – 8:30
Mile 8 – 8:04
Mile 9 – 8:27
Mile 10 – 8:01

I got my Maddox and stretched in my favorite spot and then headed in to hug 4 jammie wearing sleepy heads (my nephew spent the night). A great start to Mother’s Day. I was feeling it later. I was a little more tired than I expected through church and got cranky because I was hungry right after, but all things that were fixable. I ate a nice big plate of chicken, shrimp, and rice and headed out to celebrate my momma.

Throughout the day my left foot/ankle was hurting. I think it was just tired. It feels a lot better today. I’m not worried about it at this point. I’ve had the same pain in my heel last year, but it isn’t anything worth quitting for.

We stayed too late at my parents and it was loads and loads of laundry to fold and 3 really dirty boys to get showered up and in bed once I got home. As I was getting Wyatt’s bag ready for today I found a Mother’s Day card he had forgotten to give me. I took it back to him and asked why he didn’t tell me about it. He got a really familiar embarrassed smile on his face and said, “That picture… oh my Gosh, it is so stupid. I didn’t want to do that, but teacher made me. So dumb.” As he shook his head.

I laughed hysterically and could NOT get over how much of his personality is just like his daddy’s. He would look at the picture and just shake his head and laugh. I love him. I love that sweet middle one too. And that little one that makes me earn every single bit of this title of Mommy!

Hope you all had a good one too. I’ll check in tomorrow.