I'm Thankful!

I have a list for you because honestly I have been extremely busy and can't even think or see straight.  Being busy is good, but damn, sometimes you need a break.  So, I give you a list of things I am so completely thankful for.  I'm only going to give you 15.  I don't want to bore you to death, but this is nowhere near a complete list. 

1. Weston and his big genuine smile when he is proud of himself
2. Sharing the best belly laughs with Wyatt
3. Wyatt's new found love with seeing how tall he is using me as the reference
4. Waylon telling me he is going to be a good boy for the day out of the blue (we've been working on this)

5. Helpers around the house
6. Dale and I talking about our day
7. Stretching my legs in bed and finding a child at my toes
8. Morning drop offs that go so well and everyone is peaceful
9. Slobbery kisses
10. When the boys share
11. When the boys have an actual conversation that doesn't end in "you're an asshole"
12. A clean house even when I can hardly keep up
13. A date night with Dale and the foot and shoulder massage he gave me later
14. The backup camera in my car - I love that thing!
15. A job promotion!!!
    

When I took this picture Wyatt actually asked if I was going to back over them.  Aw, silly, silly boys!

 My life seems like a whirlwind lately.  But, oddly I find myself at peace most of the time.  Is this a new normal?  I'm not sure I have the energy to keep up.  I thought it was the exercise draining me, but I have come to the conclusion it is life and I'm ok with that!

A long thankful night

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Your cheeks are flush and you feel like a little heater against my skin. I put you down knowing it's going to be a long night.

My heart is heavy with news of a mommy who had to return her baby to Jesus. She had to witness her only son go through unthinkable pain and yet I lay here with three happy, healthy boys just down the hall.

Not an hour passed and I hear your cry. The usual reassurance and tucking you in just wasn't working this time. I cuddle your body next to mine as you share my pillow. Your tired hands gently rub your soft blanket against your face. You're back to sleep but my finger continues to rub your shoulder and down the side of your back.

My mind goes back to that mommy who held her son as he took his last peaceful breaths. I don't know why, but I tried to imagine just what that would feel like. What must she have felt?

Quickly I learned that pain wasn't for me. My heart breaks for her but I couldn't quite shed a tear. In a way I feel the guilt. Then quickly praise God that He hasn't given that to me. I pray that the pain she feels is never meant for me. That He protects my heart. I praise God that I got a day full of family; laughter, slow, wobbly, and concentrated steps meant just for me, of kisses and hugs, of peek-a-boos and where are yous. A day of can we cuddle, will you carry mes and I love yous. A day with daddy and sons.

It was a long night, one that I'm sure we will still be trying to recover from all week, but it was another night that I praise God for as He continues to let me keep my sons.

I also pray for that family who lost this amazing child and for every parent out there that has felt this pain.