My 13.1 Milestone

I don't have a lot of time so this will be quick.  It's not really the race recap I had planned for the run of my life, but I want to get this down before I forget about it.  Ha!

Saturday morning started early.  Let's back up just a little bit.  You  know that little fitness competition I did, right?!  Well, I ate some cheat meals last week and didn't stay as clean on my diet as I should have been.  I said goodbye to those abs real quick.  It wasn't fat, I was just so bloated.  You're welcome!  Anyway I was not feeling the best even though I didn't go crazy.  I was still eating my main meals and clean stuff, but there was left over birthday cake and a little ice cream. I felt like crap!  I was more tired than I've been in a long time.  The food really does matter.

Anyway I got up early and we hit the road.  I had asked Dale to make sure he was near the finish when I was done because I was going to need him.  I pictured an emotional basket case at the finish line with the completion of these 2 huge goals. 

I didn't give myself enough time to get there and get settled.  It was pretty much fight traffic, walk forever, then squeeze through a tiny gate to get to my corral and to find my friend from work who was also running.  I had to go to the bathroom again, but there was no way, I was just going to have to go for it and hope for the best. 

Mile 1 - 13 = HILLS!  Long, never-ending, horrible hills.  The end. 

No really, there were a lot of long gradual hills.  I was ahead of the 1:50 pacer until around mile 6 I think.  I was feeling ok.  Not good, but ok.  It wasn't one of those high five the trees and run with my hands up yelling, "THIS IS AWESOME!" kind of runs.  Have I not told you all I do that?  Oh, well, I might do stuff like that when I'm running. 
Before I knew it the pacer was next to us and that is when the self doubt crept in.  I thought I was running faster and we made some distance.  Apparently not! 

At one point I think the conversation in my head was, "I hate running.  Why am I even doing this?"

I just told myself to shut it and started singing Our God is An Awesome God over and over and over to myself.  I told myself to forget about everyone else out here and run my race.  Look at the beauty.  Thank God for having the ability to run.  I looked at my leg and started chanting the names of the ones getting me through this race.  They all are fighting much bigger, long, gradual hills than I am.  I can surely just keep moving.  So I did. 

I had my time at 1:54:12 and I was late stopping it. The chip timer said 1:56:07, so I really don't get that.  I was a little bit down on myself because my real goal was 1:50 or better.  I did not give this course much credit.  It was hard.  Really, really hard!!!  You can see from above that mile 11 and 12 were horrible.  2 miles up hill.  It was horrible!!!  Do you get they were horrible?!  If I would have gotten my rear movin faster up that last hill I would have had my goal.  I also walked just for a little while at the aid stations to get my chomps down with water.   

I'm not taking anything away from myself.  I never thought it would have been that hard.  I was so sore, so I know I pushed my limits.  I was also chaffed.  That felt nice the rest of the day!  I lost my chomps around mile 8.  Thankfully I chewed a little more than normal early on.  That was a lesson learned!  I need a good pair of running shorts that will hold my fuel and not allow chaffing!!!  I will definitely run another one on a much flatter course to see how I really do.  Maybe I'll officially train for that one too. 

Just looking back at the splits makes me feel better though.  They weren't as bad as I was thinking they were.  Despite all of that it was amazing.  I did what I could and I praised God for it and allowed those people to keep my spirits up.  I'm so glad I thought to write their names down where I could see them and focus my attention there.  I'm thankful for each one of them and I continue to bring 110% and give back as much as possible for others. 

Once we got up the 2 mile hill we turned a corner and there was an extremely steep shorter hill where Elvis stood giving everyone high 5's.  I'm surprised he never got punched.  Once I was over it we went down a long hill and I knew I was almost done.  I didn't pay any attention to my times and splits along the way, btw and I was really ok with that.  I was heading around the corner when the emotions hit me.  I knew the finish line was just up ahead but I had to bear down and finish with all I had, which was close to nothing.  Right before I saw the finish line I heard "MOM".  My boys were right there and all I could do was smile! 

I didn't cry until I was in the car on the way to get some breakfast.  I was so thankful for being able to do what I set out to do.  It was over and I didn't feel that let down about what is next.  I was expecting a little grieving, but it didn't come.  I was just so happy to be done and to succeed.  The tears flowed silently over my cheeks and were dried by the sunlight through the passenger window.  I was happy and thankful and hungry and sore!!

My crew!

Our awesome jackets and my big butt. : ). 

I'm so thankful for Christa!  She's a new friend of mine and of course it was running that really brought us together.  She's about the only female from work that I can talk crazy run talk with and she loves it!  She helped me believe I could reach my goals and was right there with me.  She ran awesome and I was sad that I lost sight of her before those hills, but so happy with how well she did!

Confession - I have yet to get a workout in since the race.  I'm craving one like no one's business, but things keep getting in the way.  That is probably for the best.  I was going to try to sneak in a quick morning run this morning and only remembered as I was shampooing my hair.  I'm not as sore, but my form on the stairs still isn't pretty! 

I can't wait to get back to it.  I did clean up my diet again and those abs I thought I said goodbye to are starting to peek back through.  Thank goodness I didn't ruin them forever!  Food matters!  Did I already say that?

Yesterday on a whim I created a group on facebook.  I've wanted to get some people together for a really long time because so many people have reached out to me for advice and help, but the FB group was new.  I originally wanted to start it for people in my area to use as a way to communicate and schedule workouts that we could meet up and do together, but it took off.  I was a little overwhelmed.  It is now open to anyone who is interested in being their best selves.  I will still use it to schedule workout meet-ups about once a week, but we will also post as much motivation and support for each other as possible.  People are already responding and I absolutely love it!!!  We plan to post what we did together on there and anyone can pick them up and do them for themselves.  I'd like to share encouragement, recipes, and tips about exercises as much as possible.  If you are interested in being an ACTIVE part in that let me know and I will get you added.  It has been amazing so far.  The group is called Journey To The Best Me. 

Saturday we are meeting up at the city lake if you are local and want to join 7:15am.  I'm not a personal trainer and I don't plan to be but I have been an athlete all of my life.  We will workout together and support each other as much as possible.  I have a great team of resources as well if you are looking for something more specific and personal.  I can hook you up.  All fitness levels are welcome and all ages.  We all have to start somewhere.  I just ask that you are serious about it and not waste any one's time. Those that have responded are on board 100% even though they are a little scared.  They are willing to start making the endless excuses challenges that they are going to dominate!  We can do this!!!!  And I'm extremely excited about it!!!! 

That wasn't too quick and I'm completely out of time.  I'll update soon...



It Was Amazing

That is what you call one spectacular weekend.  A few weeks before competition my sister kept telling me, "Just be like you were on the day of your wedding.  You have never been so beautiful!"

The day of my wedding while sitting in the salon getting our hair done the other customers were coming in asking which one was the bride because they couldn't find the girl freaking out, which is normally so easily tagged as the bride.  I was as calm as I could be.  I'm the middle child and not one that is used to having the spot light.  I like to do my thing and people passively give me a pat on the back later without much fuss.  But, on my wedding day I fought every urge to hide in the shadows and make that THE DAY of my life that I would share with Dale and remember with so much love for the rest of my life.  It was the kind of day that I wanted.  Everything was smooth and calm and beautiful and I embraced the spotlight and the feeling of never being so beautiful. 

Saturday can't top my wedding day but it came extremely close.  (FYI - the days I had my babies aren't even in the same ballpark)  I kept waiting for the uncontrollable shaking feeling to emerge from pure nervousness and being scared out of my mind, but it never came.  The only time I lost my composure a tad was when I pinned the #1 MOM pin onto my backstage bag when I was packing up my stuff.  For some reason every time it caught my eye I got teary.  Wyatt gave me this on Mother's Day this year. 

Other than that, I kept my composure and the nervous feeling never came.  Friday evening I slipped on a dress that couldn't have been more perfect and highlighted my body perfectly.  I've been a little depressed over losing a lot up top.  I felt hot and beautiful and really wishing I was sharing that night with Dale.  I had a good time meeting new people and enjoying the fact that my sister was getting a lot of honor amongst this crowd.  She shines in her line of work, as she should. 

I hit the sack later that night and slept well.  I got my mind set in the morning and up early for hair and makeup.  Wow, that is a new experience.  I didn't offer any suggestions to Loni and let her do her magic.  I was a little freaked at how dramatic the look was, but understood that stage makeup is so much more different than every day makeup.  Seeing pics of myself made me feel a lot better about it.  It was hard not to try to dab it off a bit though.  I'm glad T and Stacy told me to knock it off.  It was so much!

We headed down the street to start our day.  No matter what, I was happy with what I was stepping on that stage with.  I didn't feel quite as muscular as maybe I should have been.  My running schedule and my total ignorant thinking around how to eat like one of these competitors is what led to that, I believe.  Tionna was telling me to have a cheat meal, but it never sank in until a little too late that she wasn't just trying to be nice to me.  I needed a cheat meal so it could build me up and add some volume.  All I can say is when you are going through something like this you need to trust and completely let yourself be free with information between you and your trainer with every single area of you.  You need to be willing to describe everything that is going in and coming out of your body, literally.  She was telling me that, but I wasn't completely getting it until later. 

When it was time to go stage side I pumped up in the hall as much as possible and told myself that I had nothing to lose.  OWN IT!  Go out there and let me and T's hard work show.  I did exactly that.  I didn't hold back.  I even got a call-out, which means the judges want a closer look.  During this call-out you really have to show them what you have.  Apparently I didn't quite work it as much as someone else but I'm not harping or fretting on that.  This show is so much more than your physical look.  It is about how you carry yourself and your stage presence as well. 

By the time it was ready for the night show some of that adrenaline had worn off.  My head started messing with me a bit because I knew Dale would be out there.  I didn't want to embarrass him and this totally isn't his scene.  I just had to forget about that and go out there and do my absolute best.  I threw my shades on my face and stepped out there hips-a-swingin and popped to the side to strike my 80's Material Girl pose.  I slid my arms up the sides of my torso and posed like no one was watching.  As soon as I did that the crowd cheered like crazy.  I loved it.  I really don't remember anything else I did.  I just knew I had a blast with it!  Later Dale told me how proud he was of me.  That's pretty big for him. 

I embraced the spotlight again and didn't hold anything back.  I did the best I could do with what I had at the time.  I got every ounce out of this experience that I wanted to and more.  I did something I never thought I would do.  I lived this experience to the fullest for me making friends along the way.  I took the first steps to talk to others and reach out without fearing rejection.  That is something I needed to let go of a long time ago.  What a freeing thing to do and others respond to that.  Just a truly amazing experience.  One I will NEVER EVER forget and will ALWAYS be thankful for. 

Thank you all so much for the messages over facebook, Instagram and the texts.  They kept the waiting time backstage flying by.  There were so many to go through I absolutely loved having so many people by my side.  The girls backstage were amazing.  Everyone helped everyone else.  They shared food, offered hair and makeup assistance, and we created new friendships.  You really didn't have a choice not to get close to these girls when you are basically nude and you all smell disgusting from not being able to use soap for a number of hours. KC Divas ROCK!

Tionna, Stacy, Loni, Monica, our local tanning salon, Fahrenheit Tanz, Dale, my boys, Christen, Cherryh, Lewis, Lyndsey, my mom and dad, GINA, Kenzi, my high school girls, Linda for helping us out so much, and so many of you who reached out to cheer me on.... THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!  Hugging you all right afterwords that were there was the sweetest icing on my cake!  I celebrated with French Toast and woke up feeling it in the morning.  Blech!!  I definitely payed for that deliciousness. 

T and ZenFit has about 6 new clients starting pronto and I can't wait to see how much T shines through these new clients.  Find her and follow her.  She's doing amazing things.  She will also start serious prep for World's where she is on a mission to make a huge appearance on that stage in VEGAS, baby!

I still have a huge goal I'm striving for this weekend.  Tonight I asked Dale to make sure he is at the finish line of my first half marathon this Saturday.  I have a feeling I might be a slight bit of an emotional mess when I cross that finish line.  I had a tear roll down my cheek this morning just thinking about it.  I've worked my butt off these last few weeks (months) taking myself to places I've never been and doing my best at being the absolute best me I can be.  And no matter what, this Saturday I will be able to say I DID IT!  And I DID IT WELL!  

I hadn't ran for 2 weeks and yesterday was a day full of eating whatever I wanted to eat for Wyatt's birthday party celebration.  I thought today's run might be disastrous, but it wasn't.  Another EPIC run in the books.  More on that and the birthday party on another day. 

So much love to you all!!!!  Enjoy more pictures!!

Some of Loni (hair and makeup girl for the show and she's unbelievably gorgeous and down to earth) and Stacy's beauty must have slipped over to me.  Plus this is before Loni touched my hair and makeup.  How I look good next to these girls blows my mind.  I think this is close to one of the best pictures of me ever and I totally don't see this when I look in the mirror.  So crazy to me!  Look at Stacy and Loni's shoes.  The picture doesn't do them justice, but aaahhhhSOME!!!!

I don't have any pics of me in my theme wear yet, but I'm sure you will see them once I get some. 

My cousin Gina posted this on facebook and titled it BOND GIRL.  I had to verify if it was actually me or not.  It was and SO COOL!!!

Onto another amazing weekend!