My 13.1 Milestone

I don't have a lot of time so this will be quick.  It's not really the race recap I had planned for the run of my life, but I want to get this down before I forget about it.  Ha!

Saturday morning started early.  Let's back up just a little bit.  You  know that little fitness competition I did, right?!  Well, I ate some cheat meals last week and didn't stay as clean on my diet as I should have been.  I said goodbye to those abs real quick.  It wasn't fat, I was just so bloated.  You're welcome!  Anyway I was not feeling the best even though I didn't go crazy.  I was still eating my main meals and clean stuff, but there was left over birthday cake and a little ice cream. I felt like crap!  I was more tired than I've been in a long time.  The food really does matter.

Anyway I got up early and we hit the road.  I had asked Dale to make sure he was near the finish when I was done because I was going to need him.  I pictured an emotional basket case at the finish line with the completion of these 2 huge goals. 

I didn't give myself enough time to get there and get settled.  It was pretty much fight traffic, walk forever, then squeeze through a tiny gate to get to my corral and to find my friend from work who was also running.  I had to go to the bathroom again, but there was no way, I was just going to have to go for it and hope for the best. 

Mile 1 - 13 = HILLS!  Long, never-ending, horrible hills.  The end. 

No really, there were a lot of long gradual hills.  I was ahead of the 1:50 pacer until around mile 6 I think.  I was feeling ok.  Not good, but ok.  It wasn't one of those high five the trees and run with my hands up yelling, "THIS IS AWESOME!" kind of runs.  Have I not told you all I do that?  Oh, well, I might do stuff like that when I'm running. 
Before I knew it the pacer was next to us and that is when the self doubt crept in.  I thought I was running faster and we made some distance.  Apparently not! 

At one point I think the conversation in my head was, "I hate running.  Why am I even doing this?"

I just told myself to shut it and started singing Our God is An Awesome God over and over and over to myself.  I told myself to forget about everyone else out here and run my race.  Look at the beauty.  Thank God for having the ability to run.  I looked at my leg and started chanting the names of the ones getting me through this race.  They all are fighting much bigger, long, gradual hills than I am.  I can surely just keep moving.  So I did. 

I had my time at 1:54:12 and I was late stopping it. The chip timer said 1:56:07, so I really don't get that.  I was a little bit down on myself because my real goal was 1:50 or better.  I did not give this course much credit.  It was hard.  Really, really hard!!!  You can see from above that mile 11 and 12 were horrible.  2 miles up hill.  It was horrible!!!  Do you get they were horrible?!  If I would have gotten my rear movin faster up that last hill I would have had my goal.  I also walked just for a little while at the aid stations to get my chomps down with water.   

I'm not taking anything away from myself.  I never thought it would have been that hard.  I was so sore, so I know I pushed my limits.  I was also chaffed.  That felt nice the rest of the day!  I lost my chomps around mile 8.  Thankfully I chewed a little more than normal early on.  That was a lesson learned!  I need a good pair of running shorts that will hold my fuel and not allow chaffing!!!  I will definitely run another one on a much flatter course to see how I really do.  Maybe I'll officially train for that one too. 

Just looking back at the splits makes me feel better though.  They weren't as bad as I was thinking they were.  Despite all of that it was amazing.  I did what I could and I praised God for it and allowed those people to keep my spirits up.  I'm so glad I thought to write their names down where I could see them and focus my attention there.  I'm thankful for each one of them and I continue to bring 110% and give back as much as possible for others. 

Once we got up the 2 mile hill we turned a corner and there was an extremely steep shorter hill where Elvis stood giving everyone high 5's.  I'm surprised he never got punched.  Once I was over it we went down a long hill and I knew I was almost done.  I didn't pay any attention to my times and splits along the way, btw and I was really ok with that.  I was heading around the corner when the emotions hit me.  I knew the finish line was just up ahead but I had to bear down and finish with all I had, which was close to nothing.  Right before I saw the finish line I heard "MOM".  My boys were right there and all I could do was smile! 

I didn't cry until I was in the car on the way to get some breakfast.  I was so thankful for being able to do what I set out to do.  It was over and I didn't feel that let down about what is next.  I was expecting a little grieving, but it didn't come.  I was just so happy to be done and to succeed.  The tears flowed silently over my cheeks and were dried by the sunlight through the passenger window.  I was happy and thankful and hungry and sore!!

My crew!

Our awesome jackets and my big butt. : ). 

I'm so thankful for Christa!  She's a new friend of mine and of course it was running that really brought us together.  She's about the only female from work that I can talk crazy run talk with and she loves it!  She helped me believe I could reach my goals and was right there with me.  She ran awesome and I was sad that I lost sight of her before those hills, but so happy with how well she did!

Confession - I have yet to get a workout in since the race.  I'm craving one like no one's business, but things keep getting in the way.  That is probably for the best.  I was going to try to sneak in a quick morning run this morning and only remembered as I was shampooing my hair.  I'm not as sore, but my form on the stairs still isn't pretty! 

I can't wait to get back to it.  I did clean up my diet again and those abs I thought I said goodbye to are starting to peek back through.  Thank goodness I didn't ruin them forever!  Food matters!  Did I already say that?

Yesterday on a whim I created a group on facebook.  I've wanted to get some people together for a really long time because so many people have reached out to me for advice and help, but the FB group was new.  I originally wanted to start it for people in my area to use as a way to communicate and schedule workouts that we could meet up and do together, but it took off.  I was a little overwhelmed.  It is now open to anyone who is interested in being their best selves.  I will still use it to schedule workout meet-ups about once a week, but we will also post as much motivation and support for each other as possible.  People are already responding and I absolutely love it!!!  We plan to post what we did together on there and anyone can pick them up and do them for themselves.  I'd like to share encouragement, recipes, and tips about exercises as much as possible.  If you are interested in being an ACTIVE part in that let me know and I will get you added.  It has been amazing so far.  The group is called Journey To The Best Me. 

Saturday we are meeting up at the city lake if you are local and want to join 7:15am.  I'm not a personal trainer and I don't plan to be but I have been an athlete all of my life.  We will workout together and support each other as much as possible.  I have a great team of resources as well if you are looking for something more specific and personal.  I can hook you up.  All fitness levels are welcome and all ages.  We all have to start somewhere.  I just ask that you are serious about it and not waste any one's time. Those that have responded are on board 100% even though they are a little scared.  They are willing to start making the endless excuses challenges that they are going to dominate!  We can do this!!!!  And I'm extremely excited about it!!!! 

That wasn't too quick and I'm completely out of time.  I'll update soon...



Feeling Great Doing Great

I have a lot to do and little time. PLUS, I have SOOOOO much on my mind. I have to get some of it out.

So, this weekend was the Warrior Dash as I’m sure you are aware from Facebook and Instagram. I really can’t hold onto pictures for the blog. I feel like I have to share asap! What a blast! I mean really, a stinkin blast. I made my sister come along with me at the last minute as my friend, Mary wasn’t able to make it (love you, Mary). It was cold and rainy, but I think my adrenaline was pumpin a bit too much to keep me geared up and ready to accomplish the course.

We made it up the hill to the starting line and could see across some of the course. Fire, climbing obstacles, barbed wire, crawling, and a lot of people. I was really ready to go through this course. T wanted to be all warrior diva like and take off sprinting. I had to remind her how long we had to go and how hilly the course was. It took quite a bit of convincing for her to follow my lead out there like I follow her lead in the gym. I won’t bore you with all the muddy details, but I will just say, do this once in your life. You NEED to. You will WANT to. You will LOVE it and hopefully you will come out of it with a huge sense of accomplishment and feeling like you can conquer whatever obstacles in your life you might be facing.

People have told me my entire life how strong they think I am. I’m not really sure if they meant mentally or physically or what, but I have to admit I never really believed them. Even after having a natural child birth I didn’t believe them. I just did the things that needed to be done. Wyatt gave me no choice when he came into this world and forced that out of me. I didn’t willingly go into a natural childbirth nor did I choose that route for the other two.

But, when I got off of that course I felt STRONG. Deep down in every fiber of my body STRONG. I had so much energy left it was amazing. I felt like these next 4 weeks ahead of me in this intense contest prep seemed doable without the doubts. It really put things in perspective for me. WARRIOR ON!!! I’m so recruiting everyone I can for next year. Don’t hide from me!

Once I got home I freaked the boys out with all the mud I was covered in and posed for a few pics. You should have seen Weston’s face when I walked in the door. None of them wanted to touch me. I hit the showers and back out the door for the track meet. It was great to take my boys to a track meet this year to support their daddy. They had a great day. So proud of what Dale does for those athletes.

Sunday I woke up for what was supposed to be 9 miles. I was scared. Even after feeling so strong the day before. I was going to go on parts of a new route where I’ve never ran before and I wasn’t sure how it was all going to add up to get me the mileage I needed. I live in a small town and I feel like I ran from one end of it to the other because I pretty much did and then some. The new part of the route was really hilly after coming off some big hills already and there was hardly a shoulder so that scared me. I probably won’t run it again.

Before the 1st mile I started getting a strange feeling in my knee. I hadn’t ever felt it before. It wasn’t really pain, but uncomfortable and I noticed I started limping. Then I told myself to knock it off because that was going to jack things up elsewhere. So I tried to run as normal as possible up and down the hills until it started to move down my leg in which I knew I was ok because it was moving. Apparently just something I needed to work out. I kept running and it eventually went away for good. Thank goodness.

Mile 3 was probably the hardest. It was up a huge hill. I started struggling a little but told myself that I was in new territory with a distance I’ve never gone before and to be gentle to myself, not self-destruct. It worked and I kept running my way through miles 3 and 4 on the new tough route singing Our God Is An Awesome God over and over again in my head.

At mile 2, my absolute favorite place because it is 100% nature – cows, a full river, green grass, chirping birds, squirrels, down a hill, blocked from any wind, and just beautiful. So peaceful and makes me feel so safe and secure. Almost like some other world. As I was headed there I was thinking about this passion of mine. I realized that God gives us every single tool to be our best selves. He gives us the tools, the wisdom, the strength, the endurance. He gives it all. It is our jobs to dig and find how to use them. I’m in such a great part of my life right now. I’m happy, full of joy, full of passion to help others get there too, full of wanting to give, and full of wanting to find how God really wants to use me. I feel like I’m doing what He made me for. Of course there is always room for improvement and the exciting thing is I don’t feel like He is going to be done with me anytime soon. I so want that for others – all of it. I want people to feel what I feel. The love, the energy, the joy, the drive, the security of knowing that falling down leads to getting up and weak moments lead to stronger self (I’m not on any drugs – promise)!

That's not the same muddy tank, fyi

At mile 5 I stopped for some Gu (gel that long distance runners use for fuel). I didn’t want to take it while running because I didn’t think I could choke it down. It’s pretty thick, but tastes ok. I took a few swigs of water and back at it and up another hill of course. I think that is where my app went wrong when I forgot to resume my run. I ran through the cemetery where so many of my husband’s family members are buried. It was quiet, alone, the weather and sunshine were perfection and then it hit me. I was overcome with emotion. I thought at one point I was going to hyperventilate. I just prayed. For those around me. For myself. It took a lot of breathing to get through that.

I headed back up town and up another big stinkin hill. This was probably my slowest point, so I’m glad I don’t have record of it. I really got deep with myself here. I prayed that I am actually doing what He wants me to do. Living the life He wants me to live or if I was going off of too much of my own agenda. I prayed that I’m using the gifts that He gave me the way He intended. And, if I’m not, to open my eyes to see the open doors and open my ears to hear His whispers and feel His direction. If I’m there, keep feeding me. Keeping fueling me to do my best especially at work to meet new challenges. I want to be an example of WHAT You can do to others. Let me do Your work wherever you plant my next steps.

I think He is opening these doors. I’m making connections with people I never really thought I’d make. I see 3 doors specifically that I think are cracked and I’m excited to see whether they are slammed open or gently closed. I’m letting myself live and that is a big thing. Fear used to hold me back in so many things.

Such a pretty boy!

I kept on through town with my own thoughts and slushing water bottle, which isn’t fair when you have been trying to increase your water intake and can hardly make it to the bathroom in time as is, let alone have zipper or button problems! I came back home to grab my full of life “Maggot” and we headed across the street to my favorite hill for me to stretch and for him to run and jump into the ponds with the biggest joyful look on his face. I was on top of the world. Heading back home to be surrounded by boys that asked me if I went for a run and if I had a good run is music to my ears. One of those freely flowing patience kind of days.  I just love when things work out that way. 

My run only ended up being 8.2 miles.  I miscalculated my mileage earlier.  I'm not taking anything away from that run though.  It was all it needed to be and I had the physical and mental power to go much further.  That half marathon the week after the show seems in my reach.  I feel amazing.  I would never have thought I would feel this good especially after running high mileage (for me) in a weekend with no running during the week.  Amazing to me.  My energy is through the roof.  I don't dream about laying on my couch doing nothing very often.  Until it is like 9pm then I want to do nothing but wind down for the night and hit the sack.  Right when I need to be doing that though.  I'm just beside myself with how well this training is going.  13.1 miles seems totally in my reach and walking on that stage nearly naked is starting to seem like something I'm ready for. 

Wow!  I can't believe I am to this point.  So much love to all of you for all of the support!  My sister and I have been talking about what I think is making me feel so good.  It has to be the diet.  It has to be the strength training and the good mix of running.  It has to be.  I'm just amazed!  I do all of this and still have energy to keep my house picked up and go nonstop with the boys (with some help some nights).  I've done this eating, training, sleeping, working, mothering, wifing HA!  I have not counted one single calorie.  I have not taken one single supplement other than my Spark drink before long runs, which really isn't a supplement, is it?  I have listened and trusted my trainer and I have eaten until I was full.  I haven't done any crazy dehydrating or severly calorie cutting or anything of the sort.  Clean eating, sweating, working hard, believing in myself and making it happen has been my recipe.

This works.  Sometimes faster for some than others, but totally works.  I wish I could just spread it over the world like butta peanut butta! 

I'm up way past the time I need to be.  Night all!

What I Do With My Excuses

My last post listed a bunch of excuses that I used to use before I finally just MADE A DECISION to be healthy and LIVE life. To go a step further for some of you that need an extra push to help you make that decision for yourself, I’m going to list things here to tell you what I actually do to make it work.


First of all and probably the most important thing you could take away from this ENTIRE post is this: Believe in yourself! Make a decision FOR YOURSELF that you want to be healthy and get the most out of life. You CAN’T be successful in this if you don’t take that first step.

Second, know that it is going to be a difficult road full of sharp turns, huge mountains, small bunny slopes, and smooth goings. There will be days where your drive and determination could conquer the world and shoot you to the moon and there will be days when you question why the heck you are doing this to yourself and you won’t want to get off the couch or out of that bed. You will find HIGH highs and LOW lows. You will motivate people and some will look at you like you just stepped off of some kind of alien space ship and wish you would shut the heck up.

I can’t actually conquer the world, but I can put my ripple in the water and soon that ripple becomes a huge monstrous wave with a force no one can stop. I might motivate you, you get moving, you might motivate your neighbor or that (harmless) facebook stalker you never knew you had, they get movin, they motivate someone else, they move, then they motivate someone else, and they move, and then on, and on, and on and on. To go to races and see hundreds, thousands even, lining up to run miles?! That’s a movement, people. And there are kids at the starting line and on the side lines. These kids are watching, learning, forming WAYS in their minds on how to be an adult. On how to LIVE your life. On the meaning of hard work and satisfaction.

What I’ve found? The lows make my highs HIGHER. Sometimes I even welcome them as a way to check myself and not let my head get too big. Like right now as I had “before” pics done yesterday. I’m in shape, thought I was pretty happy with my composition, but then I looked at the pictures and I wanted to say gross. But, I have to tell myself that those pictures are motivation to keep doing what I’m doing. Keep forming and sculpting (with a lot of help) until I like what I see and can be proud of those before, progress, and here on after pictures.

Perfection is not a goal of mine. I know I will never reach perfection until I enter those golden gates, but being happy with what I’m doing and the results of it all is what I’m striving for. And when I say results I mean way more than the physical make up of my body. It is a full package I’m shooting for: mind, body, home life, as a Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. I want to BALANCE and I want to be happy with it all the majority of the time. I’m well on my way, but I know the lows and the hard times will come again in one area or another and I want to be ready for them. I truly am training for LIFE as well as what comes after.

So, with all of that said, here is what I do.

• I have devotionals sent to my inbox. I take time to read them every day as my day is starting. I have 2 different ones: She Reads Truth/YouVersion and Daily Hope with Rick Warren. I take time to read these and jot down a few notes from them that spoke to me. I like to write a specific prayer after the note. I have gotten behind on the notes a bit, but I make sure to read every day. This only takes a few minutes and I usually break up the time when I need a break from work. I pray and praise as much as I can sporadically throughout the day.

• I EAT BREAKFAST every single day and a glass of water. I do this on my way to work. I fix wheat toast or oatmeal, sometimes eggs, and eat them on the go. I have a long drive to work so I have to be as efficient as possible.

• In the car I switched my radio stations from regular talk show stuff over to a Christian channel which fills me every day. I REALLY enjoy that time listening to sermons. Most of the time they are preaching about living life, how to come out of struggles, and how to find God’s will in it all. Right up my alley! A few years ago, this same Christian station got me through some dark times right after my brother was in a serious accident and was struggling with a lot of things. That was one of the biggest times I really learned about my faith and I learned to love the book of Job. I got away from it for a while, but now I’m back. I don’t miss my other stations a bit.

• Work – I try to stay as focused as possible, not take things too personally, and do the best by using my mind to keep pushing forward and doing what I feel is right even if it isn’t the popular decision.

• Lunch – Monday’s I meet my sister. I love this time in the gym and with my sister. I love redefining our relationship. The years have not always been smooth between us but I wouldn’t trade them for anything if they got us to where we are now. I’m sure we went through all of that to get right here and further. I respect what she does, she is good at it, and we are stronger than ever. Food wise – a sandwich or left-overs from dinner. I feel like I snack all day; protein bars, oranges, apples, nuts and water throughout.

• The drive home – release, relax, and listening

• Pick up the boys – 2 from the babysitter and 1 from Dale’s mom who watches him before and after the bus.

• Get dinner started, change, get the boys settled into something so they don’t destroy the house – not always successful here.

• Once Dale gets home I hit the streets… for a run.  This pushes dinner a bit, but I would rather have a slightly late dinner vs sacrifice anymore sleep. I’ve changed my 5 – 5 1/2 hours to about 7 hours a night, which is helping tremendously!

• Dinner – I try. This one is hard. Dale is a country boy at heart that grew up on his mom and grandma’s home cooking with desert every night. He is truly a meat and potatoes kind of man. I have to try to find the balance to cook as healthy as possible and make it taste good for him as well. I’m still working hard here. Suggestions for recipes with practical healthy ingredients is always accepted. Send them to me whenever you find them, PLEASE???

• After – all I want to do is say DONE and sit down on the couch for the rest of the night, but the kitchen needs cleaned, the boys bathed (every other night unless they are really gross), homework to do, and bed time to prepare for.

• Saturday – an early run, picking up the house, vacuuming, a ton of laundry, folding clothes and putting them away, meal planning, grocery list, shopping. If we have other things to do on Saturday things get really tricky. I clean the bathrooms about once a month (toilets and the base and floor around the toilets – uh, I have 3 boys, when I can while supervising bath time.) I dust when it needs it and I have time. If I get behind on some things I will pick it up during the week. That usually means laundry. I have to mention that Dale is not absent here. He helps a ton with a lot of this stuff. I’m not working alone. He can clean a toilet like a boss!!!
• Sunday – early long runs. Church, Grandma’s, then Papa and Nae Nae’s. No time for anything else usually. A full family and soul building day.

Sometimes all of this stuff doesn’t go smoothly. Sometimes my boys have a hard time and I have to reevaluate what we are doing and make changes. I work on trying to be ok with not everything being done at one time. While all of this is going on I’m responsible for being a good wife who loves her husband completely and nurturing my boys and trying to be the mom that supports and loves them as much as they need it and more. Sometimes I truly fail, but I always try harder the next day.

• I use Facebook wisely, I think, I fill my feed with motivational stuff. Stuff that is important to me. I don’t friend everyone. I choose wisely. I don’t keep negative people. A high number of followers is not my goal.  I will delete them quickly except for a couple I just can’t let go of. I guess they aren’t too bad, but they do give me another perspective on some things. We can’t always love everyone that believes just as we do. The more I see the runners, the runner’s quotes, the girls in the gym, people asking what I did today to be healthy, etc. the more I am focused on keeping up with it.  It's hard to ignore something you are surrounded by.

I post stuff that I think is funny and I post pictures I feel could motivate others. My goal is NOT to toot my own horn, my goal is to be real and to let you know that you are capable of just as much if not more. Sure, the likes and comments feel good to me and help me keep going, but that is not my ultimate goal. To get comments and private messages about how I am motivating someone else to get up and get moving, to enjoy their lives, and make positive changes in their lives is what really makes my soul shine. I’ve built a support system that keeps me going. I’m sure the haters are coming, but so far I haven’t run into that and I’m very grateful. I’m not sure I’d care too much at this point anyway. I feel I’m doing what I need to be doing. I also use it to share other people that are doing the same in their lives.

• I make time with my friends often. These relationships are extremely important to me and now that most of us are getting our run on we are starting to do some runs together. I really can’t tell you how happy that makes me. So, proud of my girls! Our first official big run with everyone together will be in May. I haven’t mentioned it just yet, but I’m extremely excited about it.

• I learn as I go. My sister has taught me a lot lately and previously I found running blogs that I enjoy. Following fit people of Facebook, blogs, Instagram, even Twitter can be very beneficial. Most of them offer up the knowledge they have learned and will share workouts with you. If you don’t know a move YouTube it. You’ll catch on. Just yesterday I did a new move that felt extremely awkward, but you just have to stick with it until you get the hang of it. Remember that it takes time to build up. Don’t expect to be an expert the second you step out there. We have to learn how to crawl before we walk and trust me, somedays after a good workout, crawling is all you might be able to do!

The last thing I could tell you is quit caring about what everyone else thinks. Quit obsessing over the number you see on that little scale under your feet. Go out and do what you feel is right, make good choices, and stick with it. Feel that sweat roll down the side of your temple, get your sports bra soaked, stink, and run your hands through your sweaty hair. Go with your feeling alone and learn. Make your smile and your eyes reflect the way you feel inside and out. Are you truly happy? Like deep down in your soul truly happy and living the way you want to live? No? Keep going!!!! Believe and trust in the process. Believe and trust in God. If you still don’t know what you are doing, hire my sister ; )!  There are millions of resources out there, but until you make that CHOICE to change, none of this will come together for you.  No one can do it for you and no magic pill will do it.  The SECRET IS CHOICE!