Tuesday, May 28, 2013

It Was Amazing

That is what you call one spectacular weekend.  A few weeks before competition my sister kept telling me, "Just be like you were on the day of your wedding.  You have never been so beautiful!"

The day of my wedding while sitting in the salon getting our hair done the other customers were coming in asking which one was the bride because they couldn't find the girl freaking out, which is normally so easily tagged as the bride.  I was as calm as I could be.  I'm the middle child and not one that is used to having the spot light.  I like to do my thing and people passively give me a pat on the back later without much fuss.  But, on my wedding day I fought every urge to hide in the shadows and make that THE DAY of my life that I would share with Dale and remember with so much love for the rest of my life.  It was the kind of day that I wanted.  Everything was smooth and calm and beautiful and I embraced the spotlight and the feeling of never being so beautiful. 

Saturday can't top my wedding day but it came extremely close.  (FYI - the days I had my babies aren't even in the same ballpark)  I kept waiting for the uncontrollable shaking feeling to emerge from pure nervousness and being scared out of my mind, but it never came.  The only time I lost my composure a tad was when I pinned the #1 MOM pin onto my backstage bag when I was packing up my stuff.  For some reason every time it caught my eye I got teary.  Wyatt gave me this on Mother's Day this year. 

Other than that, I kept my composure and the nervous feeling never came.  Friday evening I slipped on a dress that couldn't have been more perfect and highlighted my body perfectly.  I've been a little depressed over losing a lot up top.  I felt hot and beautiful and really wishing I was sharing that night with Dale.  I had a good time meeting new people and enjoying the fact that my sister was getting a lot of honor amongst this crowd.  She shines in her line of work, as she should. 

I hit the sack later that night and slept well.  I got my mind set in the morning and up early for hair and makeup.  Wow, that is a new experience.  I didn't offer any suggestions to Loni and let her do her magic.  I was a little freaked at how dramatic the look was, but understood that stage makeup is so much more different than every day makeup.  Seeing pics of myself made me feel a lot better about it.  It was hard not to try to dab it off a bit though.  I'm glad T and Stacy told me to knock it off.  It was so much!

We headed down the street to start our day.  No matter what, I was happy with what I was stepping on that stage with.  I didn't feel quite as muscular as maybe I should have been.  My running schedule and my total ignorant thinking around how to eat like one of these competitors is what led to that, I believe.  Tionna was telling me to have a cheat meal, but it never sank in until a little too late that she wasn't just trying to be nice to me.  I needed a cheat meal so it could build me up and add some volume.  All I can say is when you are going through something like this you need to trust and completely let yourself be free with information between you and your trainer with every single area of you.  You need to be willing to describe everything that is going in and coming out of your body, literally.  She was telling me that, but I wasn't completely getting it until later. 

When it was time to go stage side I pumped up in the hall as much as possible and told myself that I had nothing to lose.  OWN IT!  Go out there and let me and T's hard work show.  I did exactly that.  I didn't hold back.  I even got a call-out, which means the judges want a closer look.  During this call-out you really have to show them what you have.  Apparently I didn't quite work it as much as someone else but I'm not harping or fretting on that.  This show is so much more than your physical look.  It is about how you carry yourself and your stage presence as well. 

By the time it was ready for the night show some of that adrenaline had worn off.  My head started messing with me a bit because I knew Dale would be out there.  I didn't want to embarrass him and this totally isn't his scene.  I just had to forget about that and go out there and do my absolute best.  I threw my shades on my face and stepped out there hips-a-swingin and popped to the side to strike my 80's Material Girl pose.  I slid my arms up the sides of my torso and posed like no one was watching.  As soon as I did that the crowd cheered like crazy.  I loved it.  I really don't remember anything else I did.  I just knew I had a blast with it!  Later Dale told me how proud he was of me.  That's pretty big for him. 

I embraced the spotlight again and didn't hold anything back.  I did the best I could do with what I had at the time.  I got every ounce out of this experience that I wanted to and more.  I did something I never thought I would do.  I lived this experience to the fullest for me making friends along the way.  I took the first steps to talk to others and reach out without fearing rejection.  That is something I needed to let go of a long time ago.  What a freeing thing to do and others respond to that.  Just a truly amazing experience.  One I will NEVER EVER forget and will ALWAYS be thankful for. 

Thank you all so much for the messages over facebook, Instagram and the texts.  They kept the waiting time backstage flying by.  There were so many to go through I absolutely loved having so many people by my side.  The girls backstage were amazing.  Everyone helped everyone else.  They shared food, offered hair and makeup assistance, and we created new friendships.  You really didn't have a choice not to get close to these girls when you are basically nude and you all smell disgusting from not being able to use soap for a number of hours. KC Divas ROCK!

Tionna, Stacy, Loni, Monica, our local tanning salon, Fahrenheit Tanz, Dale, my boys, Christen, Cherryh, Lewis, Lyndsey, my mom and dad, GINA, Kenzi, my high school girls, Linda for helping us out so much, and so many of you who reached out to cheer me on.... THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!  Hugging you all right afterwords that were there was the sweetest icing on my cake!  I celebrated with French Toast and woke up feeling it in the morning.  Blech!!  I definitely payed for that deliciousness. 

T and ZenFit has about 6 new clients starting pronto and I can't wait to see how much T shines through these new clients.  Find her and follow her.  She's doing amazing things.  She will also start serious prep for World's where she is on a mission to make a huge appearance on that stage in VEGAS, baby!

I still have a huge goal I'm striving for this weekend.  Tonight I asked Dale to make sure he is at the finish line of my first half marathon this Saturday.  I have a feeling I might be a slight bit of an emotional mess when I cross that finish line.  I had a tear roll down my cheek this morning just thinking about it.  I've worked my butt off these last few weeks (months) taking myself to places I've never been and doing my best at being the absolute best me I can be.  And no matter what, this Saturday I will be able to say I DID IT!  And I DID IT WELL!  

I hadn't ran for 2 weeks and yesterday was a day full of eating whatever I wanted to eat for Wyatt's birthday party celebration.  I thought today's run might be disastrous, but it wasn't.  Another EPIC run in the books.  More on that and the birthday party on another day. 

So much love to you all!!!!  Enjoy more pictures!!

Some of Loni (hair and makeup girl for the show and she's unbelievably gorgeous and down to earth) and Stacy's beauty must have slipped over to me.  Plus this is before Loni touched my hair and makeup.  How I look good next to these girls blows my mind.  I think this is close to one of the best pictures of me ever and I totally don't see this when I look in the mirror.  So crazy to me!  Look at Stacy and Loni's shoes.  The picture doesn't do them justice, but aaahhhhSOME!!!!

I don't have any pics of me in my theme wear yet, but I'm sure you will see them once I get some. 

My cousin Gina posted this on facebook and titled it BOND GIRL.  I had to verify if it was actually me or not.  It was and SO COOL!!!

Onto another amazing weekend!


  1. I"ve been following your journey and I"m so proud of you. It's not just about your hard work physically, but emotionally and mentally getting out there and doing your thing! Congrats!!

    1. Thank you so much, Amanda! Thanks for being a cheerleader at my side!!!

  2. You look AMAZING and I am so INSPIRED by you, Tayarra! I can't imagine doing something like that and am in awe that you decided to do it and then DID IT! I loved seeing all your pictures as you were on this journey and especially the pictures from the weekend. Can't wait to see the ones of you in your theme wear. :)

    I'm so interested to see how all of this strength training helps with your running goals. I have a feeling you are going to kick some booty at the half marathon. So, so excited for you!

    And can't wait to meet you in Portland in a couple of months!!! xoxo

    1. Kristin.... I love you! Thank you so much for the love and support. You are such an awesome person. You have inspired me many, many times. I'm glad I can give back a little!

  3. Congratulations!!! What an experience! And you look beautiful!!

  4. I think that this is a major accomplishment. You stuck with it and never backed down. This just goes to show you that you have it in you to do anything.
    You are absolutely gorgeous and I can see how this was just under getting married.

    1. LOL, thank you so much for supporting me along the way, Kimberly! No matter what you always put a smile on my face.

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  7. GORGEOUS!!! Love, love that dress you wore. You really look like a fitness model! It still amazes me that you did something like this and totally embraced it. And now a half marathon... You are unstoppable!! :-)

    1. Who knows what next year will bring??? I kind of brought my A game so far this year. I'm excited to see what is ahead of me. Thank you so much for all of your love and support. You have inspired me BIG! The main thing I will never forget came from you about us being our best in our "prime" as athletes in high school and college. Well, you've helped me BELIEVE that life isn't over at graduation. We haven't waived goodbye to our best yet! Thank you so much, Tia!!!

  8. You looked AMAZING! I've been thinking about you lately and meaning to check in to see how it went. I'm glad you got what you wanted out of it....you worked SO hard!



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