Monday, April 30, 2012
I love you bigger
My first born.
My dream come true.
The boy I can share true belly laughs with and long snuggles on the couch.
The one that comes to me and tells me just how he feels.
When I hurt his feelings.
When he doesn't like me yelling.
How much he loves me.
"I love you bigger than this entire earth and space"
He's growing up, dammit.
Each time he grabs my hand.
Every quiet, warm walk down to the mailbox and back and the extra trip just because.
Each time he hugs my neck, asks for a kiss, and raises his voice to say, "I love you, mommy" I'm holding on.
Holding on to all he means to me and praying like crazy he has enough love and respect for me in his older years to always feel the same way.
Two more, Wyatt. At least two more times I picture you in this cap and gown each one a bit bigger than the last. Each one capturing your sparkling eyes, your deep meaningful smile, the man you're growing into.
Today is only picture day in your cap and gown and part of me is a little relieved I'm not there to see you in it. Honestly I'm not sure I will be able to keep my composure once you slip it over your head. Just typing it thinking about the day is almost too much. I want to see you live out your dreams, but at the same time I'm not even close to letting you go.
The size of the picture will never matter to me as much as you do. Every little stinking bit of you. I love you more than the pond, heaven and earth, the roof, and all the stars in the sky.