Monday, April 30, 2012

I love you bigger

"Just get the 5X7"

The tiny red cap and short flowing gown. 

Is that picture big enough to express just how proud of him I am? 

Of course it isn't and no picture size will hold the amount of pride I have in my heart for this little boy. 

My first born.

My dream come true. 

The boy I can share true belly laughs with and long snuggles on the couch. 

The one that comes to me and tells me just how he feels. 

When I hurt his feelings.

When he doesn't like me yelling.

How much he loves me.

                 "I love you bigger than this entire earth and space"

Truth is he beats me every time at this game with his words, but he could never realize just how much love I hold in my heart for this guy. 

He grows taller by the minute.  I swear his smile gets deeper and more meaningful with each day and his eyes sparkle just a little bit more with each glance. 

This boy gets me and he always has.  He knows when I need his love, when I need his help, and when I need his laughter.

He pushes me.  To be a better mom, a better wife, a better friend.  Sometimes he pushes me where I don't want to go.  But I'm better the next day for it. 

He's growing up, dammit. 

Each time he grabs my hand.

Every quiet, warm walk down to the mailbox and back and the extra trip just because.

Each time he hugs my neck, asks for a kiss, and raises his voice to say, "I love you, mommy"  I'm holding on.

Holding on to all he means to me and praying like crazy he has enough love and respect for me in his older years to always feel the same way. 

Two more, Wyatt.  At least two more times I picture you in this cap and gown each one a bit bigger than the last.  Each one capturing your sparkling eyes, your deep meaningful smile, the man you're growing into. 

Today is only picture day in your cap and gown and part of me is a little relieved I'm not there to see you in it.  Honestly I'm not sure I will be able to keep my composure once you slip it over your head.  Just typing it thinking about the day is almost too much.  I want to see you live out your dreams, but at the same time I'm not even close to letting you go. 

The size of the picture will never matter to me as much as you do.  Every little stinking bit of you.  I love you more than the pond, heaven and earth, the roof, and all the stars in the sky.


  1. cold chills - beautiful post!

  2. This is so wonderful. I know exactly how you feel. You are making me tear up. You suck.



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