"I don't know how you do it with 3 boys in the house. I wouldn't have the energy."
This is a comment I hear ALL.OF.THE.TIME! I would have said it too before I had my crew. Can you imagine 3 boys? Triple the testosterone. The running, jumping, fighting, climbing? No pink, no dresses, no pretty hair, or painted nails. No calm, quiet cups of tea, or barbies playing mommy in the doll houses.
What's that? Sugar.
Where was I? Standing 6 inches from him cooking dinner. He's fast and quiet AND DESTRUCTIVE!
But look at that face.
What's this? Dry.Crusty.Pee.
When's the last time I cleaned that area? Last week. I now applaud Dale's decision to put cheaper linoleum tile squares in the boy's bathroom. We WILL be remodeling this room once they get that it is unacceptable to miss the target. Make sure you see the little bit on the right on the floor there.
And what's this? A booger on MY bathroom door handle.
How'd I happen to find it? Guess!
What are they doing? Holding puke buckets as we prepare to make a quick run to town because THIS mom didn't have any sick day supplies like chicken noodle soup or Sprite.
Anyone want to guess the ounces of puke and diarrhea I cleaned up yesterday and the night before? No?! How bout the amount of lethal gas emitted from the backside of these two that I was forced to breathe? Come on????
Oh, and there that one is again. What's he doing? VIOLENTLY throwing trash out of the trash can. Just look at him.
What does he do when you get on to him and remove him from the scene? Laughs and sprints right back to the area then VIOLENTLY throws the trash out of the trash can and turns and looks at you with an evil grin.
And then my sister texts me this...
But then they do this. And it makes all of THAT worth it.
That's a hug not a choke hold.
Note: Everything but the sugar incident happened this week. That was last week. When they also did this on the same exact day around the same exact time as their brother was trying to sweeten the place up.
Waylon's most memorable quote from the week, "Mom I know what to do when you get mad at me. Smile and say I love you. Then you're not mad at me anymore." Manipulative little sh....!
Grabbing my camera really helps with the urge to immediately react in a negative way. I just hope this doesn't motivate them to outdo themselves the next time.
Ah, the dry crusty pee. I'm currently researching ways to bottle it and use it as an alternative energy source. Because there's just so damn much of it around, and it's a very renewable resource.
ReplyDeleteOh, how I related! I wish we lived close- we could let our SIX run around together and the mess/noise wouldn't make us even bat an eye.
ReplyDeleteEWWWWWWWWW! Just smile.
ReplyDeleteI haven't gotten to the dry crusty pee stage yet with my one but the trash can I can definitely relate to. We actually have resorted to grocery bags in the leftover cat litter tray hidden under the kitchen sink after one too many trash can parties. Now if I could just get him to quit unrolling all the toilet paper...
ReplyDeleteOH...the crusty pee. I had no idea that pee can solidify. Lord that is the thing I loathe the most...cleaning the toilet/pee particles.
ReplyDeleteOnce my son emptied an entire jar of peanut butter on himself the dog the walls how it got on the ceiling I have no idea...
Yea, but they're fun.