Friday, May 27, 2011

I'm in denial

I’m in denial about a lot of things. Here's a short list of things I am knowingly in denial about:

#1. My oldest is turning 5 on Tuesday. His party is this weekend. It feels like it should be a big blowout bash where I am extremely excited. Turns out I’m not. I think I’m just trying to make it through the days. 5 is a huge milestone and soon he is going … I’m just gonna stop there.

#2 My baby is 4 months old. He is laughing and almost rolling over. He should be starting real food. Turns out he isn’t because my mind didn’t remind me that it was coming up. I was reminded at the dr yesterday. The older two? I would have had boxes of cereal and real food ready at 2 months just waiting for the second they turned 4 months.

#3 The middle one? He’s talking in full blown sentences and making his own decisions about certain things. Whhhaaaa?

#4 My life is changing. The way I think, the way I parent, the type of wife I am, the kind of sister/sister in law I am, the way I work. I’m learning to say no and unacceptable more than ever, but I don’t want to accept it.  I'm a people pleaser, remember?

#5 And I think I'm beginning to realize that I am in denial about grief.  And maybe that's the reason behind all of my denial?  Maybe, I think, who knows anymore?!  All I know is life is weird right now and it is kind of uncomfortable.
I do know that I’m ready for the long weekend and the break and I’m ready to be with my family! Have a safe weekend everyone!


  1. It is so hard when your kids start growing up. Great post.

  2. Sorry hon. Hang in there. But like I've said, motherhood isn't for wussies. It's hard as they start to climb those milestones and let go.

  3. I so know how you feel. I just have to remind myself that every season, as beautiful as it may be is fleeting. Hugs Mama!

  4. New to your blog.. I hope you have peace with all that is going on, there is a time for everything!! :)

  5. Enjoy the time with your family T! I was feeling similar things today but instead of denial I was facing acceptance and really slapping myself around for not being the full moment with my kids. Blogged about it. I think of you often! I see NOra (tri-living...together) found your blog just now. :) She's awesome. Love you friend!

  6. It's tough, isn't it? I find that looking for the blessings in each thing usually helps me feel better. Feel better and happy birthday to your boy!

  7. Well happy birthday to that big kid of yours. 5 is a milestone, truly. These are all legit issues - I have similar denial going on. One day at a time, right?



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