I’m in denial about a lot of things. Here's a short list of things I am knowingly in denial about:
#1. My oldest is turning 5 on Tuesday. His party is this weekend. It feels like it should be a big blowout bash where I am extremely excited. Turns out I’m not. I think I’m just trying to make it through the days. 5 is a huge milestone and soon he is going … I’m just gonna stop there.
#2 My baby is 4 months old. He is laughing and almost rolling over. He should be starting real food. Turns out he isn’t because my mind didn’t remind me that it was coming up. I was reminded at the dr yesterday. The older two? I would have had boxes of cereal and real food ready at 2 months just waiting for the second they turned 4 months.
#3 The middle one? He’s talking in full blown sentences and making his own decisions about certain things. Whhhaaaa?
#4 My life is changing. The way I think, the way I parent, the type of wife I am, the kind of sister/sister in law I am, the way I work. I’m learning to say no and unacceptable more than ever, but I don’t want to accept it. I'm a people pleaser, remember?
#5 And I think I'm beginning to realize that I am in denial about grief. And maybe that's the reason behind all of my denial? Maybe, I think, who knows anymore?! All I know is life is weird right now and it is kind of uncomfortable.
I do know that I’m ready for the long weekend and the break and I’m ready to be with my family! Have a safe weekend everyone!