5 Sharp Lives: I'm in denial

Friday, May 27, 2011

I'm in denial

I’m in denial about a lot of things. Here's a short list of things I am knowingly in denial about:

#1. My oldest is turning 5 on Tuesday. His party is this weekend. It feels like it should be a big blowout bash where I am extremely excited. Turns out I’m not. I think I’m just trying to make it through the days. 5 is a huge milestone and soon he is going … I’m just gonna stop there.

#2 My baby is 4 months old. He is laughing and almost rolling over. He should be starting real food. Turns out he isn’t because my mind didn’t remind me that it was coming up. I was reminded at the dr yesterday. The older two? I would have had boxes of cereal and real food ready at 2 months just waiting for the second they turned 4 months.

#3 The middle one? He’s talking in full blown sentences and making his own decisions about certain things. Whhhaaaa?

#4 My life is changing. The way I think, the way I parent, the type of wife I am, the kind of sister/sister in law I am, the way I work. I’m learning to say no and unacceptable more than ever, but I don’t want to accept it. I'm a people pleaser, remember?

#5 And I think I'm beginning to realize that I am in denial about grief. And maybe that's the reason behind all of my denial? Maybe, I think, who knows anymore?! All I know is life is weird right now and it is kind of uncomfortable.
I do know that I’m ready for the long weekend and the break and I’m ready to be with my family! Have a safe weekend everyone!

7 comments:

AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 2:18 PM
It is so hard when your kids start growing up. Great post.
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aliciaMay 27, 2011 at 3:58 PM
Sorry hon. Hang in there. But like I've said, motherhood isn't for wussies. It's hard as they start to climb those milestones and let go.
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Mommyfriend LoriMay 27, 2011 at 7:31 PM
I so know how you feel. I just have to remind myself that every season, as beautiful as it may be is fleeting. Hugs Mama!
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AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 11:24 PM
New to your blog.. I hope you have peace with all that is going on, there is a time for everything!! :)
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Amanda@runninghoodMay 28, 2011 at 12:06 AM
Enjoy the time with your family T! I was feeling similar things today but instead of denial I was facing acceptance and really slapping myself around for not being the full moment with my kids. Blogged about it. I think of you often! I see NOra (tri-living...together) found your blog just now. :) She's awesome. Love you friend!
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AlisonMay 28, 2011 at 7:33 PM
It's tough, isn't it? I find that looking for the blessings in each thing usually helps me feel better. Feel better and happy birthday to your boy!
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MommaKissMay 31, 2011 at 9:19 AM
Well happy birthday to that big kid of yours. 5 is a milestone, truly. These are all legit issues - I have similar denial going on. One day at a time, right?
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Dale

This is Dale. My Dale. The one I have spent pretty close to half of my life with. I love him. He loves God, he is strong, he provides for us, he treats me well, he makes me laugh. He's tall, dark, of course handsome, has got nice broad shoulders and a really cute butt. He is quiet and it takes quite awhile to get him to warm up, but once he does he is the best friend anyone could have. He is a great dad and his boys are his soft spot. I love spending my life with him. He makes everything ok when things are hard and he is my calm in the midst of a storm ... most of the time. I.LOVE.HIM!

Wyatt

This is our hilarious, sweet, cuddly, 5 year old boy, Wy Wy. He likes things his way and on his time. He is the best big brother around these parts. He is known to say "I love you, Mommy" out of the clear blue sky at home and in public. It's the best and usually gets quite a few "awe's" in public. He has got an amazing talent for sports already and has an arm that will surprise you. We love him to death and he brings us so much joy. He can also tell a story with the best of them and repeat almost any line from Sandlot, I know not all of them need to be repeated. He will start acting out scenes to movies at the oddest of times, but is always good for a laugh. (Click on the picture for Wyatt's birth story.)

Waylon

This is our 3 year old Waylonator or Wayners as his daddy calls him or Nayners as I like to call him now. He is the chubby little guy that has completely stolen our hearts. He loves to run naked around the house. He learns a ton from his brother. He can repeat anything you say to him, and understand most of it. He loves to dance, slide, play outside, wrestle, and bite his big brother. We don't have to worry about him sticking up for himself. He's got that covered. He sleeps like a champ and always has. His cuddle side is coming out, but he teases you 1st. He makes my heart swell. He finally calls me mommy now and momma on occasion. I might even get some "mom's" in there. He is so different from his brother it is amazing. Watching these two form such a tight brotherly bond brings us such joy. They truly love and enjoy each other. Nothing makes us happier! (Click on the picture for Waylon's birth story.)

Weston

This little guy is Weston. He was born on 1/25/11, 6lbs 15oz 21in. He is tall. He is already getting close to outgrowing the bassinet because of his length. He eats a ton and keeps me stressed out about my milk supply. He LOVES his brothers! You won't hear a peep out of him if one of them is holding him. They love him too! He's starting to smile and be more awake. There's nothing better than new smiles on a new face. He sleeps well at night and doesn't take too many naps during the day. He's starting to like baths. One thing you can always find him doing is squirming! He's been like this since the first time I felt him in my belly. We love what he brings to our family.

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Friday, May 27, 2011

I'm in denial

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