Tuesday, March 9, 2010


I have a confession to make….

I can't remember the last time I cracked open my own personal bible. I know, I feel completely horrible for "saying" that "out loud". Yes, I read a devotional every day, sometimes even 2 or 3, and I do open the bible sitting in front of me when I am sitting in the pew, but I don't spend my daily bible time alone, studying, absorbing, praying, or applying. I wish I could say that I do, but I honestly don't. I guess I want things given to me in the easiest possible way they can be. I want a devotional knocking on my door, in my face, begging me to read it. I want all of the answers clearly whispered in my ear without having to take the time to go searching. It's pathetic isn't it? How I feel like my time here on earth doesn't hold room for the one who created me and has blessed me so. I pray, don't get me wrong, I pray when things are hard and when my mind is at its wits end and I expect to hear or see answers quickly. And I give thanks on occasion when my heart is so filled with love and joy. When I watch my sons run and play and be happy, I stop and stare and get teary eyed and then I thank the Lord for what he has given me temporarily.

It's not enough. I have been wondering why I don't feel like I know the Lord's way for me, but I truly already know the answer, because I haven't been asking and I haven't been reading and applying His word to my life like I should be. I claim to be a Christian and I feel that I am, but I am not the Christian that gives Christian's a good name. I am the one who is being a hypocrite. I do know one thing He has been telling me to do for a while now and that is get into His word. So, I am ready and I am willing and I am doing.

This morning I was thinking on the way to work that there has to be a website out there that has the bible online that you can read. Ha, what did I find in my email this morning? Well, it was an online bible advertisement. I clicked on it and it took me to a great site that surpassed any of my expectations and it was FREE!!! So I checked it out and it is great and I am on the road to doing what He has asked me to do. I guess He really DOES know me and how to get me up and running. He is funny like that!

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