Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The good news continued

The news continued yesterday. We found out that another friend from college is expecting their 2nd bundle of joy. Congrats, Kelly and Brandon.

We also got great news at work about our performance this past year. It has been a scary year, but our company did some planning and was able to meet some goals. Good news and it feels good to hear that, but I still miss dearly all of the ones that aren't around now.

But of course there were a couple of things yesterday that tried to knock the wind from my sails...

I looked like a complete idiot in a room full of managers yesterday because I didn't choose the best approach to describe a situation and sent them all into a panic. Oh well, it wasn't career limiting or anything and I am pretty sure I think it was worse than it was, but still!

The other thing really bothered me for awhile. It's no secret that Dale and I have experienced a miscarriage and it is no secret how that affected our lives. Someone who may or may not know that we had that experience had the audacity to completely down play the hurt and emotion wrapped up in that experience because of their complete ignorance and lack of feelings for anyone else outside of themselves. They were describing to me that someone they knew had just experienced a miscarriage. They were telling me about a lack of performance recently in an area and finally mentioned that they had recently gone through this. I asked how long ago that had happened. This person couldn't even remember and trust me, they should have remembered. It was less than 6 months ago. But, they down played it saying something like it wasn't like she was 5 months along or anything. They had just found out and like the next day they found out they lost it.

Excuse me?!!!! What really bothered me though is that I didn't say anything, NOTHING! I could use the excuse that I was in shock of the cold hearted comment, but really that is no excuse. In the moment I was wrestling with the thoughts in my mind of telling this person of my experience but quickly changed my mind and wanted to protect how personal it was to me from this person. I felt this person didn't deserve to know that about me. Losing a baby hurts. Yes, there are different degrees of that hurt depending on the situation. But, you don't give people a time frame to hurt or "get over it". This is a very hurtful and personal experience no matter what stage you are in or how far along you are. People need to respect that and no one deserves someone judging them because the situation still seems to affect them. I am sick to my stomach at myself because I didn't educate this person!

This person has no children. I don't know why and it wouldn't be fair to speculate why. So, maybe they don't understand, but it is up to me - it should have been up to me - to stand up for the person under attack and educate this person a little. Would it have made a difference to them? Knowing a little bit about how this person seems to be, I don't think so. But, I would have done the couple some good and would have done those who have experienced this some good.

That is one thing I need to work on, standing up and saying something when someone is in the wrong! It might get me kicked in the face a couple of times, but depending on what it is and especially if I am passionate about it, it would be worth it.

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