Thursday, January 3, 2013

I Reluctantly Resolute

I’m a great friend. I will stand beside you through thick and thin. I will compliment you. Send you gifts when something has happened or for no reason. Send you emails just because to tell you I’m thinking about you. I will drive hours to see you. I will love your kids and keep your secrets. If you mess up, I’m there to tell you things will get better. If your self-esteem is low I will boost it with true things I love about you. I will tell you how much you mean to me. I will pray for you. I will cry with you, share your anger and your happiness. My heart will truly sink when you tell me bad news. I will hug you so tight you beg me to stop. I will even shower you if you get too drunk and puke all over yourself. I will make you my family, not just a friend. I will give you my true opinion when you ask for it and support you even if I don’t agree with you.

All of these things are so very true for the ones I love. There are times I have not been a great friend. Feelings are HUGE with me. I went through a time in my life when friends weren’t that important and I learned hard lessons about just how important they truly are. And I’ve made an effort to show those that I love just how much I care. I’m not afraid of getting hurt by friends anymore. That’s for the old insecure me. I don’t expect anything in return other than your smile, your hug… your friendship.

A friend of mine, one who I cherish for so many reasons, has posted lately about how we are to ourselves.
“In remembering to have the same love, grace, and patience for ourselves as we do for the people that mean the most to us, we might need to take a step back and see things from another angle. Chances are, if we are too hard on ourselves, it is likely that we are equally as hard on those we love most. Let’s take some pressure off in 2013… embrace a little ore grace, love and imperfection that leads to learning”

I couldn’t agree more!
As I vowed to start the year off right with my whole, “I don’t make resolutions” attitude I’m ready to make some. I’m ready to be a friend to myself and a friend to those that are closest to me. I put guilt behind me a long time ago. I don’t feel mommy guilt as much as I used to. Even after one of my kids downed a bottle of Children’s Tylenol. I’m not letting myself feel guilty for having that medicine on the counter because kids are kids and if determined enough they will find a way no matter what.  I learned my lesson regardless and have made adjustments.  I know I’m a good mom and I know I’m doing what is right with my family. Sometimes I’m not the best at that, but big picture, I’m doing the right things.
However, I tell myself that I mess up too much. Usually when I mess up there are 4 guys in my life that get the brunt of the anger and disappointment I feel with myself. My terms of messing up have to do with not being patient enough or not handling my anger appropriately. I can do it at work, in public places, but get me at home with no accountability and you will see something different. I don’t beat them… I yell. And, yelling is something that I never wanted to be a common piece of my parenthood. So, as I was thinking about this, it turns out that I just might have some resolutions I would like to work toward this year.

  • Stop using yelling as your go to parenting tool.
  • Meals – plan them – every week – prepare for them – and make them as healthy as can be. Incorporate more soups/crockpot stuff for really busy nights or Saturdays.
  • Check-ups and appointments – Schedule them and go! Dermatologist, Dentist, Allergy, get your eyes checked THIS YEAR!!!!
  • Spend 1-1 time with each of the boys – work on a plan here. Waylon likes to help cook. Let him.
  • You HAVE to get better in the mornings. HAVE TO, HAVE TO, HAVE TO, have to! Fix your lunch the night before and don’t forget it. Work on making a breakfast the night before as well. Have everyone help in the kitchen the night before to allow time for morning prep.
  • Give the boys more chores especially if they want game time.
  • Work – FOCUS. Find your creativity again and reinsert yourself.
  • Running/working out – compete in something each month once Spring hits. HAVE FUN and step back when it becomes too much. ENJOY IT!!! Ultimately I’d love to see a defined 6 pack by vacation!
  • Be the kind of wife you would want to have around. Show more appreciation. TREAT him as one of your closest friends – he is your best one after all.
  • Keep reading your devotionals but let them sink deeper. Take notes and add a daily prayer no matter how big or how small.
  • Keep your friendships important!
Ok, so it was a lot and now I feel a little embarrassed about my hugely negative attitude toward resolutions.  I guess I just don't like the implied failure that goes along with "New Year's resolutions".  If it is important to me, I will do what it takes to make a difference no matter what time of year it is.  Maybe I will make an awesome effort at working at each one of these. Maybe I will forget I ever wrote this post, but these are the things that will be floating around in my head and hopefully next year around this time I can take a look back and see a better me. That’s the ultimate goal, the best me I can be, living the best life I can live.
2012 was a pretty great year for me.  In February I vowed to start living my best life. I had some pretty strong moments and I got to a point where I realized I can do it if I really want to, whatever “it” is. I set priorities and I stuck to them and I expect nothing less in 2013.
Thanks for the inspiration, Amanda!
Do you make resolutions?
Want to share any?
The boys wanted to share theirs:
Wyatt (6):
  • Stop playing so much Spiderman
  • Focus at school
  • Only have 1 girlfriend
  • Stop mooning my mom
  • Stop peeing all over and leaving that pee pool down at the base of the toilet
Waylon (4):
  • Stop inappropriately pulling my pants down
  • Stop saying "balls" so much
  • Cut out the cussing
  • Stop peeing all over the side of the toilet
  • Learn to wipe my own butt
Weston (23 months):
  • Take it easy on the meds
  • Sing more
  • Say "jus a minute" more because my mom thinks it is adorable
  • Stop throwing my food all over the floor when I'm done
  • stop asking mommy to powder my butt every "biper" change.
Just kidding, I made them all up, but they sure are good ones.  Happy New Year! 


  1. OH gosh I love you T. Love this! You and I have so much in common...ah, the yelling...I can relate. This is one of my every day goals. Your resolutions/goals are so realistic and so REAL...thank you for sharing. And I'm so glad you're in my life. Even if we are so far apart. Gosh, you have me laughing so hard at the goals you made up for your boys. The cussing...funny story with that. Samuel thinks he's cussing when he says the word Nugget. He said Damnit once not knowing what he'd said and I quickly thought of saying "don't say that ......(thought process...if you tell him not to say it he will use it all the time because he isn't supposed to so just replace it with another word)...don't say nugget". Now he walks around all big and bad and thinks he's so cool when he gets mad and says nugget. Gosh, so bad on our part when it comes to parenting. I finally just took his fire away and told him it was okay to say nugget and that it wasn't a bad word. ha ha!

  2. Great post Tayarra! Love Waylon's resolution to stop inappropriately pulling his pants down. My son decided to do that in church. Thankfully we were sitting in a pew so only a few saw.
    As for your meal planning,I started doing that a couple of years ago and it does make a big difference with my stress level to get a meal on the table. I just have a notebook that I write down meals for the week in before grocery shopping. In addition to the crockpot, when I have time I make meals and put in the freezer. Over break I made lasagna, chicken enchiladas, and black bean soup. I like that I can put the dish in the fridge in the morning so it gets a bit thawed. And if I'm late, my husband can put it in the oven so it is ready when I get home. I'd be glad to send you my recipes if you want but I'm sure there are plenty of blogs and websites about that as well. Good luck!

    1. Jody, I so want some recipes. I can use all the help I can get!!!
      Glad Waylon so far has only pulled his pants down at home! I couldn't imagine at church. Thanks, girl!!

  3. I love this post, Tayarra! I also am not big on resolutions but have been swayed after reading what so many others have written in the past week or so. And as I was reading your resolutions, I found myself thinking I needed to do all those things, too. (Especially the one where you stop yelling at your kids...I find myself doing that way too often...)

    I was dying laughing at the resolutions from your boys!!! "Stop mooning my mom"! So awesome. :)

    Now that the new year is upon us and school is back in swing, I need to get back to writing. I have been MIA for the past month from my blog and reading other blogs but have had a fabulous month of holidays, family and lots of food!

    All the best to you in 2013! xo

    1. You and Amanda are making me feel better about the yelling. Thanks. I just hate it. I yelled the other day when my son was unknowingly video taping himself on the Ipad. That's just about enough to make me stop cold turkey. It just sounds awful!!!
      Yes, Wyatt moons a lot and you see it ALL. So gross!!!
      I'm glad you had such a great holiday. You deserve it!!!
      All the best to you too and I'm looking forward to more in 2013!



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