An Update To My Update

I'm feeling so much better.  I'm glad I didn't get out of bed yesterday to run.  I was feeling it as soon as I got to Waylon's party.  I had to stop for a big pop on the way to work.  I NEVER do anything like that.  It helped though.  It got me through the day.  I was still so stressed and out of it last night.  I wanted to get the pumpkin carving done, but we didn't.  Weston was lucky to have a bath after struggling to have some peace in the house and get Wyatt to do his daily homework.  I actually got to bed at a decent time. 

This morning when I woke up it seemed like it took an hour to figure out what day it was.  Truth was I was in and out of it, so I just remember struggling through the logic to figure it out.  Does anyone else ever do that?  The moon was still shining bright.  Last night I decided to scratch the scheduled week of training and ease back into it.  I headed out the door for a 4 mile run.  I wasn't going to care about how hard I was pushing.  I was just going to get out there and run.  I did.  It felt good. 

That person that cares about training, is motivated, inspiring, has drive, loves things about herself, accepts where she is as a stepping stone to where she's going... she slowly came back to life.  Guys, I so wanted to quit everything and live in a life long funk just yesterday.  I was questioning everything I've been doing.  I had no self esteem.  I wondered where the drive went.  Where my motivation was hiding.  I was frustrated and thought I'd lost it for good.  How I could go from one extreme to the other.  I didn't want to go back to work.  I didn't want to go back to running.  I guess I just needed to get back out on the road.  I'm so glad I pulled my feet over the side of that bed this morning and kept putting one step in front of the other. 

It was a nice easy 4 mile progression run that I was pleased with.  I'm so thankful for that.  So thankful!  I'm also thankful for those of you that don't give up on me so easily.  Galit, thank you.  You're so sweet, but that is just what I needed and I'm so glad it came from you.  So proud of you.  Feel free to tell me to stop being a whiny baby anytime I am being one.  Hold me accountable.  Trust me, that drives me more than anything. 

I'm finally feeling like myself.  I'm sure my husband appreciates that as well.  So ready to get my little monsters out for trick or treating tonight.  Be safe and have fun!  Happy Halloween!

Grandma and her youngest boy