I have had sign after sign, message after message talking to me lately. I have asked for answers and I have had the answers, but I wasn't listening and my eyes weren't completely open. On my mammoth run last week I was going through my normal, "Lord, let me hear your message and feel your lead" kind of talk. Then I heard, "Read my word. When you get the urge to look at facebook, read my word instead." Got it. Yes, sir!
Honestly that is the area I had been failing miserably in. I read a devotional every morning, but I do not sit down, read the word, and study it for what it is. I also haven't been that great at getting to church and have let other things, the state of our church, and other excuses keep me from those pews. So, I have been taking baby steps at getting better at this and it is helping me. It is certainly helping the stress I feel around everything. I know God provides for us. He hasn't let us down yet and I need to stop worrying that he will.
The devotionals I've been reading this week have been right up my alley with the situation I am in. "Don't procrastinate, You lose your fear when God is near, Read your bible, talk with the Lord and fellowship directly with him. How to unlock your potential." Just to name a few snippets from them. Thank you, Lord for talking to me in this way.
I know he's got great things for me. I know what I want out of my life. I know what I am passionate about. I just don't know how he has got all this laid out on my road and it isn't for me to know now, but to follow his lead instead. Trusting him completely along the way. Much easier to say than do.
So, I had a great run last week. It was my longest run ever consecutively, I think. I ran a lot of miles in college, but I don't think we ever just went out and ran a solid 6 to 7 miler. I did it! I realize this is not long for a number of people! My plan was to run 3 fast, turn around, then jog the rest back in easy. I actually got a 7:03 mile out of the deal in mile 2. My pace was awesome! I turned around and jogged slowly for a while, but couldn't take it so I naturally picked up my pace. I stayed comfortable for the most part, which felt really good as I could keep under an 8 minute pace comfortably! Holy freakin whoop, whoop!! My last mile of my "easy" jog was actually a 7:30. It might have had something to do with never getting passed and I knew something was coming up behind me that wasn't a bicycle. HE ended up passing me, but I'm sure my mileage was longer than his. I just can't kick that competitive edge!
I found myself bored. I was ready to be done. But it also did a lot for me. Before this I would have never thought I would sign up for a 10k, or a half, or even a full marathon, but you know what? I might just put them on the bucket list. I feel like I can at least keep that 8 min pace for quite some time. I could talk forever about this, but you all are probably as bored as I was at mile 5 on Sunday.
This run helped me in other ways as well. I found myself talking to myself about my perceptions of myself and what was reality. Maybe I should save that for another day.
I'm so nervous and excited for this weekend I can hardly stand it. I have a 5k tomorrow morning. This is a race that I want to go out and push as hard as I can. I'm shooting for at least 7:20 pace. If I do 7:30 for one mile I can live with that, but I want this one to be fast and I have rested plenty for it. Another awesome thing about this weekend is that my sister is joining me. She has been such an inspiration to me lately... well, I don't need to say all that over again, you all know. Anyway, she's going to be by my side, hopefully for all of it, cheering me on when I need it the most. This will be her first 5k EVER!
So, if you're up at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow, think about us and say a little cheer, would ya? The race starts at 7:30am and I have to drive about 30 minutes to get there so I will be up extremely early. I'm sure the nerves will get me through the tired just fine.
Here's to pushing it tomorrow! Hope you are out there doing the same somewhere this weekend!