I had a post planned for today. I was going to write a list of things I am thankful for. It is a long list. But, I have been in a terrible mood lately. For the last 3 days I’d say. My patience was not my strongest point. My allergies are kicking my butt. I’m exhausted and I’m sick and tired of looking tired.
I’ve yelled at the boys, sent them to the corner countless times and have even spanked them. I don’t know if they are just having days of consecutive misbehaving and not listening or it is just my short temper but shit is hitting the fan and I’m frustrated. I know it is probably a combination of both.
Then this morning I read a blog post that was so powerful. It was one that reminded me of the reason I fell in love with blogging in the first place. That reason was using other’s experiences as a lesson for my life and keeping things in my circle in perspective.
The writer talked about an accident his three year old son had. He had fallen out of a window and had severe head trauma, survived, but will never be the same.
All I could see was Waylon playing out the role and it took my breath away. What would I do if such a thing happened in our world? I would regret the last week for sure. I would regret every time I sighed heavily as he came around the corner of the living room way past his bed time. I would regret yelling, “get your ass to bed” through gritted teeth. I would regret losing my patience. I would regret every time I chose to respond to him in any way but lovingly.
Damn this parenting thing is a hard thing to balance. On one hand I want to live like tomorrow isn’t coming: playing, laughing, letting the chores go, and stretching the bedtime hour. But we can’t. We can’t let these precious little devils control our lives, push every button and slap the reigns across our backs. If they do they grow up to be selfishly, horrible adults. Know anyone like that?
When my boys act up or get in trouble I ask them to try harder and do better the next time. That’s all the advice I can give to myself. Yes, these last couple of days I feel I have failed as a parent, but that happens and that is what is going to make me better.
How do you all keep the balance? What do you do when you feel as if you have hit those low points as a parent?