I’ve mentioned a few times that I’m a people pleaser, a middle child, and one who HATES disappointing others. I will take some crap and I will give people the benefit of the doubt. I should rephrase all of that. “I used to…” should now preface the above. Except for the middle child part, I’m still that.
Having children and growing into my own skin has changed me and it has certainly changed the amount of crap I will take. I’ve grown a backbone. I’m still naïve probably to a fault. I still get duped into thinking that there aren’t people out there that are complete monsters and have nothing but evil in their hearts. Even when they are close to me.
At work it is easy, I can, with no problem, tell someone when I disagree with them and can take their criticism of me and turn it into something positive that helps me grow. I learned a long time ago not to take work personally. There are parts that can get to you, but the everyday business, it’s not something that pierces my heart.
Get me in real life? Tell me you don’t agree with something I’ve been doing, make an observation, and blatantly treat me like crap; that’s a different story. I get flush in the face, my ears catch on fire, my body starts to tremble, my chest gets splotchy, and my speech is broken and emotional. That’s how it’s been for me up until recently. I know myself a lot better. I am comfortable with myself and I have more self-confidence than I’ve had since I was an innocent child.
I’m ready to stand up and speak up for things I feel are right and let you know when you have wronged me. I say the hard things a little easier now. I give the feedback that needs to be given.
It’s freeing really, to let that go. To speak in confidence, to feel what you believe is right and stand up for it. I’m not saying this is something that I just go around freely doing. Other people’s feelings are still extremely important to me. I am careful when I have something to say and I will only say it if I feel like it is the right time. When I’ve been hurt, used, dismissed I can now stand strong, announce that it isn’t right, and feel good about that.
How’s it working out for me? Tremendously! Sometimes people just don’t realize what they have been doing. I would encourage you to do the same. Have you experienced this? How has it worked out for you? Do you tend to shy away and let it slide or do you confront them? I’m curious to know.