Where am I? What happened to my recharging? Something happened Friday night that I can't get out of my head and it is reeking havec. We were at Good Friday service being held in our home church.
Of course we had the whole family with us and there was a good crowd at church which is always good to see especially in our church these days.
We found our seats next to Dale's grandma and aunt but there wasn't room for all of us and the carseat so Weston and I sat directly behind Dale and the older two.
We sang. We prayed. Weston fussed a little. I held him then Waylon joined us. He's two, remember?! There was an older lady and maybe her parents sitting directly behind us. They laughed at Waylon and played peekaboo and tapped his hand to the beat of the music. Waylon thought it was funny and started showing off.
He was loud. Didn't sit still and kept going back and forth from me to Dale. He knew he was being watched. Every time he stood up to sing with me they tried to help him. He was acting like a two year old. By the end of the service I was sweating. I'm not the perfect mom but I knew if I would have done more than I did it would have made him worse. He wasn't bothering anyone except for the three behind me.
Service ended then I heard, "Man, you have your hands full. Do you have anyone to help You?" Yes I do. This is my family as I pointed to the row in front of me. "THAT'S your husband? He doesn't help much, huh?" "WOW!" followed by a disgusted sigh coming deep from her lungs. The other lady puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "put a knot on his head!"
I really couldn't believe they said that. I said he actually helps me a lot. They ran out mumbling something. A younger girl walked up and told me they were rude to her kids as well and even more ungracious to Waylon as I realized. I was embarrassed, shocked, and hurt.
The two ladies told me I didn't have my shit together, my kid was a brat, and my husband was a complete idiot in just this small exchange. I finally realized why it bothered me so much. That is not the image of my family and I know that. But this feels like a damn scar on my skin.
I didn't tell Dale about it and I won't. He didn't need to do anymore than he did at church but my mind wants to blame him and I have been shitty to him ever since. Those two don't know us. They don't know what we have been through. They don't understand toddlers. They don't know that church is a sensitive place for us recently. THEY DON'T KNOW US!
They were in church giving the impression that they are Christians. Christians don't act like that or say those things especially in His house. To those of you that aren't Christians sometimes we aren't the best examples. We are human and make mistakes. Please don't base your decisions on your witness of our actions in a single setting. Base your decision on God's sacrifice and what He did on this day for ALL of us. Forgive. Let go and let God.
Happy Easter, all!
Oh, and I'm on i35 headed home and blogging in the car (not driving) and recharging once again. Hoping to change my attitude towards my husband as those two no longer have a hold on my mind!