She was 29

and she is gone.  My cousin who I spent my childhood with is gone.  I'm now left to question why we grew apart.  Why we didn't keep the relationship up?  Why didn't we rekindle it when we had the chance?  We were supposed to celebrate her 30th birthday at my parent's house Saturday, but she's gone.  She is gone. 

Life is too short.  Things are taken for granted.  People aren't given the attention they need.  They fight a solo fight and then they are gone.  With a 7 year old daughter and a family full of broken hearts we pick up the pieces and figure out how to go on and what to learn from it all.  We are left shocked, knots in our stomachs, tear stained cheeks, and a lumps in our throats.

She was sick and wasn't dealt a very good hand at life, but she mattered and we cared and she was still taken too soon.  Way too soon.  I come away from today with more respect for her and her mother.  They fought a fight none of us realized the depth of.  None of us.  I feel guilty for that.  For not knowing all of what they were dealing with on a daily basis for years.  Constant battles over insurance and medical care.  It shouldn't be that hard to save your child.  No one should have to fight like that to get much needed medical care or for someone to even hear your story and listen to your concerns and be taken seriously.

She didn't look sick.  She had a great day yesterday.  She wasn't supposed to go yet.  Her mother wasn't supposed to be making the calls and the arrangements she was today.  We were all expecting at least another year.  God has a plan here and even though there is still a huge fight to fight now God is in control of the situation.  I can only hope and pray that God wraps his hands around this 7 year old girl who already knows too much about life and grows her into a strong successful women who is loved, supported, heard, and well cared for. 

So, Lesley Harmon, we will celebrate your 30th birthday at mom and dad's just as you wanted.  You with your beautiful smile and that long black hair will be missed.  With all of your family and friends we will be there to celebrate you.  WE CARED, Les and we love you!  Your fight and pain are over.  Rest in peace.