Wednesday, December 16, 2009

This Total Money Makeover book isn't helping me feel much better. I now realize that I am in denial of my debt and how bad our situation is. If I happen to lose my job tomorrow, would we make it? I think we could make the payments, but I certainly don't think we would make any head room as far as paying anything off anytime soon. Our debt would continue to grow and then we would find ourselves in A LOT of trouble!

And why is it that I feel like we are far worse than the stories in this book?! We have a mortgage, 1 car payment, 2 student loans and a bobcat loan. I think the majority of America has all of these (minus the bobcat loan) plus credit card payments and then some. On the surface that doesn't sound too bad, but when you write the numbers down on paper it is an eyeopener! We don't live on a budget, which I think is huge. It is probably the number 1 thing I am trying to avoid having to do because it is a lot of work and frankly, I don't want to, but I know it is necessary if we really want to accomplish this goal of living debt free and within our means.
What I really want is for someone to tell me we are in great shape and not to worry about it, but maybe I picked the wrong book to do that : )! That is sort of a joke!

I know we can do this. Dale and I saved about $55,000 before we built the house, but we worked our rears off for it. We lived in a dinky little spider infested loft house (it really doesn't qualify as a house) that ran on well water. We mowed the Lawson Cemetery in the summer plus had our full time jobs. Big deal, you might be thinking. Ha! You go out and try to trim around hundreds of headstones and then you come talk to me about it being a big deal. That is HARD work! But, it was worth it. I think if we knew what we know now we would have paid off all of our debt, which would have been the student loans and my car, but we put it towards the house. I think we would have made a different decision if we were making it today. Plus we spend more on the boys than we ever spent on ourselves. I love to be able to go into Wal-Mart or Target and get what I need without having to think of how much money is in my pocket. I love to provide for my boys when they need things without a second thought. But, I know if I make small sacrifices here and there I will be able to provide much more for them in the future. Like maybe a college education that they don't have to pay for. That would be nice! Or I could put my faith in them gaining full ride scholarships so either one of us will have to pay for it, but that probably isn't the smartest thing to do.

So, right now I have my doubts and I have my bullheadedness, but I still have a desire within me to make some changes. I am looking forward to getting into the good stuff of the book and getting some ideas of what baby steps I can take to get this accomplished. One thing I realized this morning is the daycare is really draining us and I have a semi cheap daycare bill compared to some other's who live around the city. I am considering starting Wyatt in preschool this winter if I can make it work. That would save us some money. I am also considering having Dale's mom watch them 1 day out of the week and when my mom gets better (have I mentioned her accident on here? That is another story for another time) maybe she could take a day during the week. That right there would save us quite a bit each week. I'm going to continue reading and keeping my mind open. Wish us luck and pray for us, would you please?

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