Friday, May 31, 2013
These last few months of training and striving for big goals and doing the best I can at being me… even discovering who ME really is, I’ve had 3 little ones under me pushing each leg forward. They kept me from second guessing the fact that I keep moving forward for me, FOR THEM. They show me that I can keep going and they will keep cheering me on and loving me deeper.
I want this for them when they get here. I want that drive to burn inside of them to keep going. To keep pushing. To keep rediscovering who they are and what they can do. I want people to believe in them and encourage them along the way. I want them to feel joy and I want them to praise God for it.
Tomorrow I step up to the line of a race I never thought I would do. Why in the world would I want to run 13.1 miles in a race with the word ‘HILL’ in it? If you knew me in high school and college as a runner you would be thinking the same thing. Anyone remember those mile repeats in August on that quiet, hot gravel road when I wanted to punch the coach and absolutely protested running anymore of them? Anyone? I remember it quite well. I also remember that I wasn’t running for me then. I hadn’t discovered all that running could be at that point.
Things have so changed. Tomorrow is about pushing myself far beyond anywhere I thought I’d be. It is about seeing what I really have. It’s about gaining the confidence to handle whatever else life has in front of me. It’s about spiritual, mental, and physical strength. It’s about getting out there and proving that I CAN do it. It’s about bringing my 110% because there are so many that truly can’t.
Tomorrow I have 3 ladies in mind that I will be running for. They don’t know it yet and maybe I will never tell them, but I pray that God lets them feel it. They got me to switch gears in my last run at the end of 12 rain soaked miles and finish like I was running a 400. I’m running for a few others too. I’m bringing my 110% and then some for them. Keep fighting!!!
People keep asking me what’s next. How am I going to handle not striving for anything in the next few months? I’ll always be striving! I’ll always have my eyes open for things that light that fire in me and I have a few things in mind, but honestly I’m excited about being still. I’m excited about focusing on making a lot of memories with my boys this summer. I want to go with the flow. I want to go camp in the backyard on a work night just because they want to. I’m excited about focusing on being a more present mom. I do have things in mind though.
A Saturday workout session with a few ladies will be something I’d like to get off the ground in the next few weeks. I hope if you’ve been wanting something like this you will join me and jump into some unknown ground with your eyes set on whatever direction it might go. Let yourself be open and experience this. Another thing… someone recently paid me a huge compliment and believes I would be perfect for a sort of leadership position. It’s completely out of my comfort zone but follows in line with one of my passions in life about helping people be their best them and encouraging them to do so. I will be feeling that out and seeing if it is a good fit or not. Possibly applying for the position – it has nothing to do with work and I have every intention to keep my day job. And of course, there is always Hood To Coast to get ready for. I hope to spend my nights in the gym and weight room with my boys and getting in some early morning runs. Good thing I have boys and they will totally be on board hanging out in a gym for a little while each night staying active and fit together. I’m sure I’ll pick up a few races here and there in between. But, right now… I’m perfectly content with whatever comes next.