Sunday, October 7, 2012

A thank you, some emotion, and new levels

Last week I posted a pretty big life changing kind of post. It was real and I felt very vulnerable about doing so, but the response has been amazing. Tessa, Kim, Alicia, mommakiss,Jen, Liz, Galit, Lana, Christen, Mary, Arista, Yahu, and all of you that read, but didn't comment for whatever reason, maybe it did have an impact in your life and made you love yourself a little bit or a whole lot more.  That is exactly why I wanted to write it. I've responded to each of you that commented so if you missed it take a look back, I gave you pieces of my heart for putting yourselves out there!

I went to Dale's cross country meet yesterday. There were a ton of runners. There were two times when I was almost overwhelmed with emotion 1.  Seeing the winner push to the finish with beautiful form and satisfaction on her face 2.  When an old coach from my school got his tired, exhausted, disappointed looking daughter's attention to tell her the time he got. Her reaction was priceless. I couldn't help but love those moments when they showed pride in their achievements.

I ran this morning my usual hilly 4 miles. I tried my hardest to talk myself out of getting out of bed, but my stubborn mind got up anyway and threw on some cold gear.  I saw frost on the ground as soon as I opened the garage door... "this is going to suck". I started my warm up anyway hoping I'd be sweating soon.

A few weeks back I took an entire week off from working out and I was regretting the situation because I felt like I took at least 3 steps back. Today was the day that I realized how being smart, resting, and following through with a plan pays off.

Last weeks hilly 4:
Mile 1: 7:23
Mile 2: 8:52
Mile 3: 8:55
Mile 4: 8:07

Today's hilly 4:
Mile 1: 7:48
Mile 2: 7:33
Mile 3: 6:09
Mile 4: 7:45

I think it shorted my 3rd mile a little bit. 6:09 in some of the toughest hills out there?  My goal today was attack the hills and negative splits at mile 2 & 3. Once I started running I was done being negative. There were two times when I started, "well, I can coast mile 2 because of the hills.." and my mind so rudely cut itself off with a big fat, "NOPE"!  

I've been in the habit lately of running comfortably. It's hard to get anywhere if you're willing to settle for comfortable. The sooner I trained my mind to know that each mile is going to be hard and each mile is going to be work, BUT each step is making me stronger, the better off I was. How do you turn the corner?  How do you force yourself to push harder?  To take yourself to complete exhaustion?

It's all in your head. I thought about my post as I ran today. I thought about wanting the best of me and them wanting the best for themselves and I was inspired all over again. Usually once I make it up one of those hard hills I tell myself I've made it and then I let myself recover by shuffling along for as long as I can. Not today!  Today I pushed.

Something I love to do, but don't get a chance to do very often is coach. This may sound crazy but today I envisioned myself as my own coach standing on the side pushing me on with the goals I have set. "get up that hill, use the downhill, think about turnover, push, this is what you are out here to do, don't give up, you've got three more hills which means three more downhills, attack them and let your legs go".  When I was tired and felt like shuffling I didn't. I took the energy and focused it somewhere else, "your quads aren't tired, use them, your arms aren't tired use them to pull you through..."

Today I would have blown my 5k PR out of the water especially on a flat fast course because I killed it on a hilly one with a mile to go. I set a new goal at that 3 hill to go mark. I wanted to make it up those hills without looking like I was dying and use the downhill before the last hill. The last hill was after the 4 mile mark so all of it was bonus work. I heard recently that you should be able to sprint the last 200 of any race no matter how tired you are because it takes different mechanics to sprint. I have tried to incorporate that. I killed that last hill to my driveway. I came inside dealt with a lot of poop, gave the destructive one a bath because of said poop and took the longest shower I've had in a long time. I was exhausted. More than exhausted and I'm still exhausted!!! But this morning's accomplishments were well worth the exhaustion and I now know what new levels my body and mind can achieve. I thank you all that read and show so much support for a HUGE chunk of that! Zona Rosa 5k next Saturday... Let's do this!


  1. Oh Tayarra...I'm so grateful i found you!! I'm happy for the piece of your heart i received and I'm ever so thankful that I have your words to push me along. What your mindset sounded like was sorta like mine when I did my 5k yesterday. And damn girl...your 6:09 mile?!!? Holy s*** you rock!!!! Keep it going!!

    1. Yay! That surprised me too. I didn't think I was pushing that hard! I knew it would be fast based on my avg pace at mile 3 and I even told myself out loud good job. : ). Thank you for real for so much love. Keep going!!!

  2. Look at how much you've already improved in such a short amount of time! I'm excited to see how your next 5K goes! I KNOW you are going to crush it! Great job pushing yourself and thinking POSITIVE!

    1. I know, I can't believe the difference. I wish I could level those miles out a bit, but getting that 6:09, I about spit water out of my mouth! And it was 37 degrees out. It really inspires me for more. Thank you so much for listening to me through that. I appreciate it! I'm excited for Sunday! I know I can do it, I just have to get out there and make it happen. What do you have next?

  3. You are going to do AMAZING on that 5K next Saturday!!!!!! it makes me wish I could be there to scream my lungs out for you!!!! this post has seriously slapped me in the face, and hard....because I know all too well what you mean when your brain totally blackmails you into thinking you can't hold that pace any more; or, its ok to go slower because who cares, you are tired, its good enough that you are here. and yes, it hurts when we go out of our comfort zone...but at the end of each run that I know I could have done pushing more, faster, with more consistency, I am left with a gap in my chest, with that uncomfortable sensation that I could have done better, that I didn't give my best..... and now, reading your blog....WOW! believe me, tomorrow, on my next run, i will push harder, I will try to shut my mind and concentrate on my goal pace and keep it because my legs and my spirit are stronger than my weakness and my laziness.

    1. I wish you could be here screaming! You don't know how much I would love that! We let our minds control way too much sometimes! I guess turning that around and using it for our benefit is the key. Why is it so hard to do?

      I know that feeling too well about ending a run knowing I didn't do my best. It sucks!!! So much disappointment and kind of a waste of time, literally! Push it tomorrow! I will be thinking about you! Get those knees up, girl!!! I think I will read these last 2 posts 50 times before I go to bed Saturday night. My source of inspiration. Ps. My race is actually Sunday - I got the date wrong ; )



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