Sunday, March 26, 2000

My Story... So Far

I am a middle child… enough said! No really, I am a middle child who is strong and independent, but still likes my family close. Even that little baby of a brother (he isn't so little anymore) who was spoiled beyond belief! I was an athlete throughout my childhood so I am extremely competitive! I married my high school sweetheart who is 2 years older than I am and was one of my sister's friends while we were in school. I didn't use to like him until my sophomore year of high school during track season. I asked him to a girls ask guys dance and the rest is history and well, present really! We have a great relationship (notice I didn't say perfect)! We decided to build a house on family land a few years after we got married in a little corner of a lot. People tease us and call it the Sharp Compound, which it pretty much is, but I feel like we all give each other the appropriate amount of space in the 20 acres we share. When we were almost done with the house we decided to add a member to our family. It took months of trying which is so frustrating when you have waited for so long and are ready to get the thing done and then it doesn't happen on your own schedule. You will see I have learned this lesson over and over again that this life of mine is not up to me or running on my own agenda!

Finally we became pregnant with Wyatt. He was a dream come true and I still tell him that to this day. He has brought so much joy and fulfillment to our lives. Soon after that it was time to make him a big brother. We got pregnant the 1st try. It was too good to be true … really. At my 12 week OB appointment we found out that the baby had passed. I wrote about it here. This has been THE most significant thing that has happened in our lives. It has completely changed us. It has also brought me back to faith, family, and friends and to the realization of what is really important in life. I have reconnected with some friends and those relationships have become stronger than ever. I wouldn't trade them for anything. They are truly my support system and I have learned how important having one of those is. Everything in my life seemed to become richer and stronger after this experience. I don't take things for granted. I at least try my hardest not to. After we experienced our miscarriage we decided to follow dr's orders and try at the right time. It took a few more months of trying and we became pregnant with Waylon. He has brought another level of happiness and joy to our lives.

I am a full time working mom and like my job, but struggle with trying to be a superwoman that is making it all work out. Part of me wants so bad to be home with my boys all the time, but part of me feels like what we are doing now is exactly what we should be doing. So now we are just living day by day through the stress, newly formed wrinkles, growing boys, and tons of laughs. There is still a ton to come to our lives. We are just trying to do our best to follow God's lead.

Why I started blogging:

A college friend of mine was the only one I knew that had a blog. I would check in on their little family from time to time and check out the other blogs she had on her page. Then I got hooked. I read blogs for a long time before I actually got started. They were so encouraging. They helped me take a good look at my life and see aspects of it that weren't where I wanted them to be. They gave me a hard slap in the face of reality. I got hooked to MckMama's blog and her journey through raising a sick child, who happened to share the same birthday as Waylon. It helped me virtually slip into her shoes and feel some of that pain, pain I couldn't even imagine feeling. It helped me realize what I am here for and it isn't for myself! Other blogs did this for me as well. That really helped me put things in perspective. My eyes were wide open with the reality that some parents face ... my worst nightmares! Keeping that thought at arms length, right around the corner really convicted my heart.

My husband's grandma keeps a journal every day and has for years. What a cool thing to have especially when you get older. She frequently checks back to her journals to see what happened on a day in history. What stories she has. I wanted that. As my boys get older I forget things. I forget when they got their first tooth or some of the silly things they say and I want those memories at my fingertips, literally. So, I started. I love it. Blogging has done more for me and my life than I could ever imagine. This is the place where I set my goals, where I pour my heart, where I document my boys. It helps me hold myself accountable because I feel like I have to be true to what I write here not inflating any of it for fear that someone would realize I am a fraud. No, I don't tell everything, but I tell what I feel lead to tell. It has been refreshing to me and encouraging. I have made so many changes because through writing these things comes the realization that I don't have things in order. And I am working hard to get them there. I know I am not perfect and NEVER on earth will be, but I am going to do my best to get the closest I can whether it is being a Christian, a wife, a mother, co-worker, daughter, sister, friend, whatever the case may be.

Thanks for stopping by and please let us know you did!

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