Somedays to This Days

 

• 

  3 boys
• A full time job
• 2 hour commute each day
• The kids need picked up by 5
• Dinners to fix
• A husband who coaches and spends long hours at school, cares for our extended family, and holds another job while school is out
• Too much cleaning to keep up with
• Sleep
• I’m tired
• Social media time
• Family time
• Time with friends
• Cost/money/expenses
• Don’t have the right equipment
• Too much homework
• Too many after school commitments
• I look fine in my clothes
• I don’t know what I’m doing
• I don’t know how to get started
• I’m not fast
• I don’t know the moves

 

That is a list of excuses I used to use to do everything I could to not break a sweat. I was an athlete all of my life. I paid my dues. I have never been overweight and was at my heaviest when I was supposed to be heavy, during pregnancy. I was an unhealthy skinny with high cholesterol, which is hereditary, but it can be controlled with the right decisions. I thought that I used to impress people with the amount of food I could eat and still keep my figure. The truth, I felt like crap. I was unhappy as a person and I was unhappy with myself, but weight wasn’t my issue.

 

All of these excuses still exist. And maybe if I hadn’t gone to support my sister stepping up on stage to turn pro in figure modeling I’d still be avoiding lacing up my Nikes and pulling my hair back. But, I did. I went and it lit a fire under my rear. I finally made the decision to start living the best life I could live. Life has a lot to offer. Our bodies and minds can do some amazing things. Our minds can dream, our feet can make those dreams reality, not just left at the tall office building window where you left them. It’s all about a decision.

 

My time of having babies was done and all that was left was raising babies and getting old.  WHAT?!  No!  For a long time this word was on repeat in my mind, “SOMEDAY”. Someday I will start praying and not fall asleep before I finish. Someday I will get back to amazing shape. Someday I would like to just get out and enjoy a run again whenever the thought hits my mind. Someday I would like to hold my shoulders back and feel confident about myself. Someday I would like to go up north and experience God’s scenery. Someday I would like to play a game of basketball or run with my growing boys and keep up with them.

 

Someday…. Well, who knows if I will have a someday and my boys are watching me this day. They naturally whine enough, they don’t need my influence with using excuses when things are too hard. Instead of dreaming about that bucket list and knowing it will never happen, why not write those dreams down and take a step to MAKING them happen. How about making more of those somedays into this days. And, how about you look awesome and feel awesome while doing so. That’s where I was a year ago.

 

Many of you that have been reading for some time know the whole story. Many of you have known me my entire life. You know me. You know what drives me.  You have inspired me in many aspects of my life. And, you have supported me. I really couldn’t be any more grateful.

 

This year, 2013, my 33rd year on this earth, I’m making some of those dreams reality. 3 seems to be my number this year. 12 has been my number as an athlete growing up and it stayed true to me last year as making that decision and taking steps to get healthy came true. Probably one of the top 10 most important decisions in my life.

 

I cracked the window last year and this year I’m pushing open doors. My sister made me an offer I really can’t refuse. She has offered to train and support me if I step on stage and compete. Up to this point we kept the physical part of our lives separate. She did what she did and I did what I did. We didn’t even really talk about fitness. As of last Monday we are combining those efforts. I don’t know the category just yet and I’m not officially registered. But, I’m doing it. Competing in this way has never really been a dream of mine, but something I thought would be pretty awesome to say I did once upon a time. I don’t plan to make this a career. Who knows if I will ever do it again, but I’d like to take this chance and go for it. Who knows what windows will be cracked or doors pushed open because of it.

 

I got really nervous when she pitched the idea and the thought of being on stage in heels and a bathing suit is a bit, um, like Freddy Krueger frightening. The last time I was on stage was as some Spice girl singing Wannabe. I had to morph into another personality to be able to get up there and we ROCKED it. Zigazig ah!

 

I just finished up session two with her and she is pinpointing physical weaknesses. Man, she’s really good at what she does and the reality of these physical weaknesses when I feel like I’m in pretty good shape is rather frustrating. I really don’t know how I will ever repay her for what all she has done for me in my life.

 

In January I made some resolutions/goals. Things like, be better at devotionals and reading God’s word. Stop yelling as a parent. Do better at self-discipline. Compete in races, etc. I can tell you that things are starting to fall into place. I have gotten behind in a few areas, but have made it a priority to catch back up and things are going pretty well. But, nothing started working as well until I started spending more time with God. Devotionals, listening to messages on the radio, listening to Christian music, and praying more intently. Nothing has worked quite right before I spent more time on that piece.

 

A few big things the next few months:

 

• Find ways to incorporate my passion for running/fitness into our church and surrounding churches (if you have ideas please let me know. I’m thinking a running club or a fitness group that meets a couple times a week with volunteer babysitters. If you are in my area and interested in this please let me know and we can put our heads together. If you aren’t in my area, pray about it, please?)
• Maybe a tattoo.  I have one in mind but we will see how things play out
• May: Step on stage for a WBFF competition & run a 5k with my high school best friends (Gotta get with my friends! Ha Ha #spicegirlreference #friendshipneverends)
• June: Run my 1st ever Half Marathon & celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary
• August: See God’s scenery up in Portland as I run to the coast

So, there are a lot of big things coming in the next few months that I am beyond excited about.  Like flush in the cheeks, weak at the knees (no, that was just Tionna's workout yesterday) excited about.  I would love your support and feedback.  You can count on hearing everything about these along the way.  

 

And to finish this post up with some hilarity... here are some outtakes to our mini, let's get the camera out, really bad light, last minute improvs to a background, hold your head up (through gritted teeth), Wyatt please come over here and do another one, EVERYONE LOOK AT THE CAMERA, my mother will be ashamed of the quality of these photos, everyone gets a turn with the remote, stop whining, get your hand off my face, COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW photoshoot in my bedroom after a morning workout with the day before's makeup and gross workout hair and no time to do any kind of editing other than what was already poorly done.  Please, prepare yourself for laughter.... and you're welcome!

 

 

 

 

 

Quietly Busy

I ended up running on Saturday.  I wasn't nervous about it or extremely excited.  I knew the course would be a little different just by looking at some of the times from last year's race.  It was another race of me against me.  Would I push through the tired legs, heavy breathing, and want to quit mind to get a PR? 

There are some races where I'm blown away with the experience and the support and the environment of it all.  My first race this year was awesome.  The atmosphere was awesome.  It was for a great cause and everyone was so supportive.  The more races I run, the less support I see.  That's sad to me. 

Anyway, the course was hilly and I wanted to seriously quit this one early.  I've never really wanted to quit an actual race before, since college that is.  Hills are not really my thing and if there is an uphill, shouldn't there be a downhill?  My pace was way off.  I quickly knew this one wasn't going to be a PR.  That was kind of a letdown, but I pushed on.  I talked myself up the hills.  Just be strong was my new motto. 

Eventually the end was in sight.  I heard my app tell me the time I was running and I just rolled my eyes.  Down the hill to the track where my boys were running across the football field with huge smiles on their faces.  My awesome husband with his phone in his hand ready to snap a picture.  Wyatt joined me and kept pace.  I was pretty impressed that he was keeping up with me.  I rounded the last corner of the track with my first born still at my side.  Part of me wanted to push it in and finish like you are supposed to finish, but I looked down at him as he started to pull up, "come on buddy, that's the finish line and we are almost there."  He reached up and took my hand.  I pulled him onto the track.  Hand in hand we finished together and I've never felt so proud of myself for adding two minutes onto my finishing time in my life.  I'm so happy that I told my head to shut up for a minute and grabbed his hand.  What a special moment for us.  Mainly for me. 

I love this picture so much

There were a couple of times I wanted to beat myself up about it.  "I could have stayed with that girl.  I gave up on myself before I even gave myself the chance to see how well I could do."  But, I stopped.  It wasn't about the time on this one.  I went out there and ran it.  I didn't quit.  Yes, I added time onto the progress I had been seeing and Dale thought I was lying on the road somewhere injured, but it didn't matter.  What an awesome time to spend with my family.  And the smiles on their faces... well, it was well worth it.  I knew I had to run partly hard because my body definitely felt this one. 

And they had free face painting.  Waylon's customized pirate ship sunset was awesome.  He made sure there was no pink and there HAD to be black.

The rest of the day was awesome.  We just did things around the house.  I got to spend time with my husband doing yard work that I hadn't gotten to do in a long time.  I'm usually in the house cleaning while he is out doing all of this, but this weekend we were doing it together like the old days.  It was nice.  And I was so appreciative for the time. 

I've been quiet this week.  Here's why - Monday morning I got some horrible news.  Our babysitter's husband was tragically killed.  I won't go into the details, but this is a pretty sad time in our lives.  I owe more to this woman and her family than I will ever be able to repay.  She has an enormous part in raising my children.  She loves and cares for them every day.  Her family has a big part in that.  It kills me to know that she is going through this pain. 

I made the decision Sunday to take a break and breathe for at least a week before pouring myself into more intense training.  Hearing this news Monday morning solidified that decision.  It was time to take a break, breathe, and make sure we had our priorities straight, me especially.  

Since we received this news I have been having really vivid dreams. I'm not sure I've ever really had anything like this before. There have been three things so far that I had to question whether they were a part of my dreams or if they actually happened in real life. One of them was actually recreated, which is completely crazy to me. Does that ever happen to you?

Running is on the back burner right now, for this week anyway.  I want to add some intensity to my workouts to meet a goal I've set for myself, but I need some focus time first.  Our week has been packed with things to do for the boys and for others, so it seems like a good time to do it.  Also, Dale's birthday was yesterday.  Mr. 35!  I wish I could stop everything and just celebrate that for now, but we all know as parents your birthday doesn't hold quite the punch as it used to.   

Please pray for this family, God knows their names.  Also, hug your husbands or wives and your kids a little bit tighter this week and thank the Lord for them being in your lives.  Thank him for the chaos, the busy schedules, for the hectic dinner, the fighting, the making up, the cuss word your 3 year old just said, and the food that the baby just spit out of his mouth onto the floor you just swept 4 times.  Thank him for all He has blessed you with.  And praise him for the times your children find beauty in the simplest things in life because those times are when the purest beauty out of life can be seen, felt, and lived.

Devotionals and a 5k with my SIS!!!

I have had sign after sign, message after message talking to me lately.  I have asked for answers and I have had the answers, but I wasn't listening and my eyes weren't completely open.  On my mammoth run last week I was going through my normal, "Lord, let me hear your message and feel your lead" kind of talk.  Then I heard, "Read my word.  When you get the urge to look at facebook, read my word instead."  Got it.  Yes, sir! 

Honestly that is the area I had been failing miserably in.  I read a devotional every morning, but I do not sit down, read the word, and study it for what it is.  I also haven't been that great at getting to church and have let other things, the state of our church, and other excuses keep me from those pews.  So, I have been taking baby steps at getting better at this and it is helping me.  It is certainly helping the stress I feel around everything.  I know God provides for us.  He hasn't let us down yet and I need to stop worrying that he will. 

The devotionals I've been reading this week have been right up my alley with the situation I am in.  "Don't procrastinate, You lose your fear when God is near, Read your bible, talk with the Lord and fellowship directly with him. How to unlock your potential."  Just to name a few snippets from them.  Thank you, Lord for talking to me in this way. 

I know he's got great things for me.  I know what I want out of my life.  I know what I am passionate about. I just don't know how he has got all this laid out on my road and it isn't for me to know now, but to follow his lead instead.  Trusting him completely along the way.  Much easier to say than do.

So, I had a great run last week.  It was my longest run ever consecutively, I think.  I ran a lot of miles in college, but I don't think we ever just went out and ran a solid 6 to 7 miler.  I did it!  I realize this is not long for a number of people!  My plan was to run 3 fast, turn around, then jog the rest back in easy.  I actually got a 7:03 mile out of the deal in mile 2.  My pace was awesome!  I turned around and jogged slowly for a while, but couldn't take it so I naturally picked up my pace.  I stayed comfortable for the most part, which felt really good as I could keep under an 8 minute pace comfortably!  Holy freakin whoop, whoop!!  My last mile of my "easy" jog was actually a 7:30.  It might have had something to do with never getting passed and I knew something was coming up behind me that wasn't a bicycle.  HE ended up passing me, but I'm sure my mileage was longer than his.  I just can't kick that competitive edge!

I found myself bored.  I was ready to be done.  But it also did a lot for me.  Before this I would have never thought I would sign up for a 10k, or a half, or even a full marathon, but you know what?  I might just put them on the bucket list.  I feel like I can at least keep that 8 min pace for quite some time.  I could talk forever about this, but you all are probably as bored as I was at mile 5 on Sunday. 

This run helped me in other ways as well.  I found myself talking to myself about my perceptions of myself and what was reality.  Maybe I should save that for another day. 

I'm so nervous and excited for this weekend I can hardly stand it.  I have a 5k tomorrow morning.  This is a race that I want to go out and push as hard as I can.  I'm shooting for at least 7:20 pace.  If I do 7:30 for one mile I can live with that, but I want this one to be fast and I have rested plenty for it.  Another awesome thing about this weekend is that my sister is joining me.  She has been such an inspiration to me lately... well, I don't need to say all that over again, you all know.  Anyway, she's going to be by my side, hopefully for all of it, cheering me on when I need it the most.  This will be her first 5k EVER! 

So, if you're up at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow, think about us and say a little cheer, would ya?  The race starts at 7:30am and I have to drive about 30 minutes to get there so I will be up extremely early.  I'm sure the nerves will get me through the tired just fine. 

Here's to pushing it tomorrow!  Hope you are out there doing the same somewhere this weekend!