6 DAYS!

It’s here… peak week. I feel like I’ve fixed enough food for the entire month only to realize that it will maybe last me half the week. My goal for the week is to EAT and be present in the moments that are in front of me. To say the last few days have been a mental struggle is probably an understatement. I have doubted myself so much. I’m not really sure why I have beat myself up so bad. Maybe I’m just scared out of my little bikini bottoms. I got stressed just thinking about how stressful this week is going to be. I look at my calendar and just shake my head. But, why? The Lord has got my back. He’s sent the down pour of rain that will cancel my sons’ baseball games which means I have evenings free to make sure my food is ready, my bag is packed, and my time with my family is enjoyed to the fullest being all together and able to get things done at home that I need to get done. I don’t mean that to sound selfish. The baseball games will get rescheduled and I love every minute of them, but this show and this prep will not be rescheduled and I need the focus time.


I am getting better though. I think part of healing, working through stuff you are feeling is being honest about it. Normally when people ask me how I am it is the usual: great, I’m excited, good, etc. And, I started to do that with some of my closest friends on Saturday night. Then I stopped myself and thought what am I saying? I’m standing in front of these girls that have known me my entire life and I can’t tell them how I am really feeling? BS… So, out with it right over the red onions I was chopping up for our meal. “You know what, no, it isn’t going well… I HAVE NO SELF LOVE right now.” I think it shocked us all. That’s all I needed, to say it and move on with it. And they responded exactly how I needed them to, with love and stop being a dumb ass attitudes. Then we went about our business and my eyes got all teary… from the onions! Man, I love them. Ladies, how do we not get one picture of our kids together or us that night?!

I got another great reminder from a dear friend this morning when I decided to be vulnerable and open up. God does have my back and He has blessed me with the ability to do this and to care for my family and inspire and motivate countless people along the way. He has allowed me to spread my wings and sent the wind to direct them.

I’m a strong girl, I will get where I need to be. I’m almost there, but part of being me means that I beat myself up from time to time when I really shouldn’t. It’s like climbing that long hill where every moment of it sucks, your legs burn, your stomach cramps, your pace slows, and you feel like you can’t really go on, until you get to the top and you feel more alive than you have ever felt and stronger than you will ever need to be because of what you just got up without quitting. Things are coming together and once I have that tan sprayed on my DIVA IS ON. Look out, KC!!! Little t’s coming for you!



This weekend:

Dale’s athletes did an awesome job at state! So, so proud of him and them. But, I missed him big time!

I had a girl’s run with my high school girlfriends. This is the first time that we all got together to do something like this. We did it for our special little Madi that will always have such a special place in our hearts. We are so proud of the little lady she is growing into. I really wish I could go into that story, but now isn’t the time. Just know, she’s one little miracle. Two of my friends had never ran a 5k before. I asked the group about 9 months ago to set a goal and get a race on the calendar. They were all willing to do so and started training for it. It didn’t matter what speed it was, but we all did it, together. Love it! Such a great day.

Shelly, on the far left ran awesome!  I think she was chasing after her little bro., so proud of her.  She runs much faster than I do!!

Then it was on to posing practice – thank God my sister took some video. I needed to see it no matter how much I didn’t like it. Gotta make tweaks and that’s what it was for.

ZenFit girls!!!

Later to dinner with my girls and their families. I love this group!!! I just wish we could do it more.

Sunday was a day full of me trying to catch up and set my mind right. I had a lot to do and of course didn’t get half of it done. Dale was home, but had yards to mow and invited us to go along. The fact that I hadn’t seen my husband in what seemed like forever made me forget about the laundry and go anyway. It all worked out well and we all got some time together. It wasn’t all joyful, but I’m glad we did it. It took me a little while to release my stress of just up and leaving all I had to do to find ways to entertain a 2, 4, and 6 year old in restricted space while their daddy was busy, but once I did we all enjoyed ourselves.

LOL, telling some story!

Dirty grump!

Yep, spontaneous push-ups.  Love that kid!

Sunday’s are usually my long, endorphin flowing, epic runs, but I had to rest Sunday. That probably had a lot to do with my state of mind as well.



So, here we go… 6 DAYS!!!!

Look how well we fit together

"Who should we hate this week?"  As we passed neatly tucked and folded notes from one girl to the next we talked about who was getting boobs, who stuffed their bra, and which person we thought was "gay" that week.  Our bangs sprayed high and our jeans tight rolled just above our look alike Keds.  Those were the days when each one of us tried as hard as we could to find a place in the clique.  As much as we wanted to deny there ever was one it was blatantly obvious to those around us that it was alive and thriving. 

"The friends you have now won't be the friends you will have when you grow up."  We heard that time and time again.  We vowed to be different.

Middle school, that oh so important time in a child's life where things get awkward from their hair, to their teeth, to their physique.  Weird looking kids always trying to look and act older than they were.  Hormones raged and there was a daily battle between being smart, funny, popular, and trying not to care so much. 

Who could really win?  If you were invited to the sleep over one week you shouldn't have counted on being invited the next week.  Turns out we were all in the same boat, fighting the same battles.  We were all fighting for the same position against each other while calling ourselves the best of friends.  Sounds pretty smart to me.  Boyfriends came and went.  This one this week, Cherryh's the next, Amanda's the week after that.  The cycle continued. 

In high school things started to spread out.  The daily boyfriend swap and power struggles didn't seem to be the main focus anymore.  Space was added between some.  Feelings were hurt, best friends changed.  Longer term boyfriends and school became the focus.  We'd meet up at the lunch table or in front of the lockers before school complaining about how early it was and how much we didn't want to be there or how we couldn't wait to see Coach Gassman.   

Somewhere in there a genuine bond was formed.  We went off to college, some far, some near.  We would have occasional meet ups at some one's dorm or when we all got back home.  Some would come, some wouldn't.  I was guilty of letting a little too much space grow as were others. 

Graduation, weddings, babies, life, miscarriages, adoptions, rough patches in our marriages, hurt and turmoil in our lives, losing loved ones.  These things came and what we started to fall back on was that core.  That core that saw us at our absolute worst and at our best and we gravitated to the core every time something got hard.  Slowly in the beginning, but more intense as life grew more stressful and wrinkles more vast.  As more prayers and confidants were needed we came together stronger.  Each of us making the effort to make get togethers happen and not lose touch. 

Now?  These are the ones I turn to.  These are the ones I love like my own family.  These are the ones I owe a lot to.  We did it.  We lived up to what we always said we would do.  We still lean on each other and call each other the best of friends.  We pray for each other and this is one of the main groups we turn to when life gets hard again or things need celebrated.  My girls.  I'm thankful for each one of you and extremely proud to call you my friends. 

And their kids?  We make some pretty damn good lookin kids!  You would think that twelve kids under the age of seven in one house would be torture.  For me it was a welcomed blessing.  They all did so well, acted so cordial.  Like they knew each other well even though some of them were strangers.  Look how well they fit together.  How well they cuddle the one next to them.  Happiness/contentment in each face.

Wyatt 5, Brooklyn 20 months, Lincoln 2, Waylon 3, Weston 1, Annie 3, Eliott 6, Brock 1, Julia 5, Gabe 4, Meghan 7 (almost 8), our Miracle Madi almost 5 months

I see the best of them in their miniatures...

and the best of them has morphed into so much more.  Once a ditsy teenage cheerleader that drove a yellow car and lost her keys far too many times turns out to be the one on the floor that all the babies look up to as she snuggles her pride and joy. Love you, Cher Bear!

I love my sister wives! Look how well we fit together.

Football's over

Boy, have we been busy.  Football is over.  We are trying to adjust to new schedules.  Halloween.  My car breaking down.  A new car.  Finalizing our refinance.  Waylon's birthday.  Me, thanks to Pinterest, deciding to paint my front door and the side lights. Dog sitting.  Just a bunch of stuff to occupy our time!  I'm sure I'll blog about some of it even if it is months down the road. 

Last night I felt like jumping on the computer and typing every word Wyatt was telling me.  He was filling me all in about girlfriends at preschool and how his girlfriend didn't love him anymore because he was on the blue team and she was on the yellow team.  So, they "broke up" and she decided to be Lawrence's girlfriend.  But then Lawrence got mad because she sat by Wyatt so she "unbroke" from him and now they are boyfriend/girlfriend again.  

So, when she broke up with him the first time he went out and got a new girlfriend, Allison (said really slowly with raised eyebrows and big eyes).  I didn't get to hear much about her because he went onto talk about Eva.

Eva goes to the same babysitter as him and well, they are obviously in love.  I've never seen him act like he does around her.  They are crazy about each other.  She teases the crap out of him and he gets super hyper when he sees her.  She's a cutie and super sweet.  She only goes a couple of days a week, so when she isn't there he kind of gets disappointed.

Aw, young love.  Too cute!  I told him that he really should only have one girlfriend at a time.  He looks at me, tilts his head to the side and says, "But Mom, I just like girls and guns and oh yeah, video games."  I don't think I'm ready for this. 

Anyway, back to our busyness....

We were heading out the door to daddy's last home game.  Waylon looks like such a big boy here. 

Waylon took this one.  Can Weston be any cuter?!

Oh, wait, yes he can.  My goodness.  Isn't he the cutest little marshmallow baby ever?!  He didn't quite know how to move in this thing. 

The next morning we got up early and hit the flag football field for Wyatt's end of the season tournament.  It was cold and the long night before left me tired, but what else is new. 
 

I realized that this is just the beginning of my early Saturday mornings going and cheering on my boys.

They did so good.  They beat the 2nd seated team their 1st game and played for the championship. 

They ended up getting second and having a great time. 

Lining up to get their medals.  Yes, Wyatt (2nd to the last kid) is the smallest one on his team.  Everyone else was either in 1st or 2nd grade.  He wasn't MVP or anything this year, but I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it. 

Towards the end they made sure everyone got a chance in the spotlight running the ball.  Wyatt had 3 carries and got 2 1st downs.  I was so proud of him. 

We'll be seeing these jerseys together for years. 

The cool thing about all of it is these are the kids he will grow up and play with up to high school.  Such a great way to get the kids going and experienced with each other. 

I loved the support the parents showed toward the guys.  It didn't matter what team their kid was on in the end.  They cheered just the same especially when the guys were taking turns running the ball.   There were only a couple that I think were a little ridiculous, but I guess that comes with the territory and something that we will need to get used to.