Then his mouthpiece
With his shoes tied he jumps out of the car eager to go
Crosses the road carefully just like every time we go to the mailbox
He's running to the coach and the players lining up to get their flags in the field
Then stops and looks back
Apprehension
There's too much distance
The reality of his isolation sinks in
Mom's too far away and I can't reach her hand
The confident, cool, funny guy he comfortably is retreats
Hides
He's scared
Alone
Self conscious
Will they like me
Am I good enough
Will they want to play with me
He crosses his arms and squeezes his chest
His forehead wrinkles just above his nose and his eyes show the slightest bit of panic
It all rushes to his head and shatters his posture
If only I could make him strong
Believe in himself
Never question who he is
If only I could do it for him
Save him the hurt
If only I could announce to the world how cool he is
What a sweet heart he has
And what a best friend he could be
If only I could be there forever to hold his hand
To squeeze it at just the right times
To rid his insecurities
To build him up and make him strong
Does he get it
Does he understand when I tell him how awesome he is
How sweet
Caring
Fun
If only they could see him through my eyes
Feel my love for him for themselves
He lets go of his chest
Jams his mouthpiece in his mouth
Stretches out his arm
Those long slender fingers wave in the air
He turns with a skip and a jump
Faces his fears
Puts a smile on his face
And fills a hole in my heart
This is so beautiful! Is Wyatt going to school??? I'm so behind!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm updated now. Good decision about the holding off on Kinder just yet. Love how you've captured so much in this writing here....the bond between mother and son and the moments when we have to let go and let them go off on their own and hope that we've filled them with enough love and words of encouragement to make them be able to carry themselves with confidence. gee, that was one long sentence!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness I have chills! This post is pure gorgeous and captures the ache of not being able to hold their hands forever- perfectly.
ReplyDeleteSob-n-sniffle perfectly.
You have me crying.
ReplyDeleteI get it, I really do.
I really felt this post. Beautiful writing!
ReplyDeleteIn this moments I want to run up beside my son and I have to hold back.
ReplyDeleteThis is great. It expresses a mom's point of view perfectly. Fantastic.
ReplyDeletewhat a great tribute, and so relatable. lovely!!
ReplyDeleteI'm in tears. This was so so wonderful and so very very true. When this day comes for me, I will be a hot mess.
ReplyDeleteYou have captured the essence of being a parent so perfectly here. The ache of needing to let go and fend for themselves even as we watch them falter at first. And then the pride when they get their bearings and grab life by the horns. This was beautifully written - it gave me chills.
ReplyDeleteYou have me in tears. My heart is aching right along with you. Letting go is so hard. I completely get it, I really really do.
ReplyDeleteOh my God, Tayarra...your words are so powerful coated with so much love only a mother can understand. I'm in tears!
ReplyDeleteGirl! I can SO picture this. We want them to be prepared & strong, but not leave us either. Love this.
ReplyDeleteLOVE. So touching, so true to a Momma's heart.
ReplyDeleteYou have me in tears. This is so so sweet.
ReplyDelete